Happy New Year !!!

Happy New Year to all my Blogging amigo's, friends and family and of course the fans and avid readers of this blog (the millions of you) world wide! I'm sure 2006 will be a good one!

Thanks for all the comments, ones of encouragement, satire and sarcasm - keep them coming.

And thanks for all the wonderful blogs out there, letting me share a small slice of your lives.

Have a good one, stay safe - and keep on the pavement (sidewalk if you're American!)

Right I'm off out for a bullet proof piss up !!! (hangover ahoy!)

Crumpet

Last night I watched ‘Crumpet – a very British sex symbol’ on BBC2 at 9:50pm presented by the much maligned but totally likeable newspaper editor Tony Livesey. The programme was a 60 minute extravaganza that presented a bevy of crumpet from the late 60’s and early 70’s before political correctness reared its ugly head. It took us back to an age where the bloke in the street could go ‘phhwrroorr’ at what was then termed by the media ‘Crumpet’.

Ok, so the word isn’t really used these days, it harkens back to the days of carry on films, On the buses and other bawdy 70’s tv but lets face it, they were golden days! I remember quite a bit of the 70’s, near the end of the decade I was reaching pubescent male hood when Crumpet was all over the telly, I recall fixedly staring at the screen and musing with some fascination all about the bumps on a woman’s chest and why males were so taken with them. With the usual British humour the guy in the films got the merest of glimpses of the ‘crumpet’ and her cleavage or knickers and he very rarely got to bed her but it was all good tongue in cheek fun from a less serious era.

The programme had appearances from Ingrid Pitt, Honor Blackman, Diana Dors, Barbara Windsor, Madeline Smith and one of my personal favourites Valerie Leon. Not only were camp style films represented there were also pieces on Pans People, Hammer horror, Confessions films and popular sitcoms of the time, right up until the days of Benny Hill.

Tony Livesey covered it really well in a frank and often personally indulgent documentary style fashion, never dwelling on a subject for too long to retain the viewer’s interest; it was a magical slice of retro nostalgia induced history. A look back into the days of Sid James infectious dirty laugh, the good old days of slap and tickle He presented it in such a compelling matter of fact way and icons of the era made contributions also, any chance of seeing Lesley Phillips say ‘Ding Dong’ has to be taken! There were also social comments from Germaine Greer who didn’t really verbally assault the era as much as I expected, I think even she saw it as harmless fun far removed from the often exploitive society of today.

Sadly these days we have the likes of surgically enhanced Jordon and the very unremarkable Abi Titmuss adorning the covers of magazines – gone are the days of voluptuous 70’s beauties with natural cleavage and untamed hair

Out has gone the word ‘Crumpet’ and in its place we have words like ‘Totty’ et al.

I think I’m going to make a concerted effort to remain old fashioned and use the word Crumpet whenever possible. OOOhhh Matron !

Below is a a couple of photo's of the very gorgeous Valerie Leon, star of many a 70’s film. Phwwooaarrr !

Holy River

I was out walking away from the mad shopping crowds down by the holy river 'Trent' in Newark on Christmas Eve and thought seeing as the day was almost spring like I'd take some photo's.

The Trent was called the Trisantona by the Romans and later it was called the Treonte in the 8th century. In the medieval heraldic world the Trent was a border between two kings of arms provinces and the term 'born north of the Trent' signified someone born from the north of England.

Above is the 'Castle Barge' pub which is just to the left of the bridge when entering Newark, it gets very busy in summer and attracts mainly a young crowd at weekends. I like it because now and again they'll play some alternative stuff. It is bigger inside than you think, comprising of two decks, originally it was a grain barge built in 1923.

Next up is Newark castle that sits neatly beside the Trent. The castle was built between 1125-35, it was founded by the bishop of Lincoln known as Alexander the magnificent. excavation work found bones that were dated back to the Saxon times and it's thought that a Saxon manor was also built on the site. King John died in Newark castle 1216 from excessive eating and drinking. The castle was a royalist stronghold in the civil war and withstood 3 long sieges, when in 1646 King Charles was captured at nearby Southwell the parliamentarians ordered the townsfolk to pull the castle down, as you can see they didn't really do a good job!

This is a view of the rear of the castle, part of the gate house that still stands.

Christmas crime

Christmas is coming and Pat is getting fatter
Every blogger knows he’s as mad as a hatter
Em’s has a Christmas tree in the house
But will it be a home to a pesky mouse?
Shep is having pain and grief
Apparently it’s with his teeth

And Jay is certainly committing a crime
With this dreadful rhyme (sorry folks!)

Merry Christmas !!!

Fuzzbox

A last minute cd arrived through the post yesterday, a lovely blast from the 80’s past. Not sure if anyone can remember a band called ‘We’ve got a fuzzbox and were gonna use it’? I managed to get their BBC sessions on cd which includes there earlier hits such as ‘Love is the slug’ and ‘Self’. Fuzzbox never were really musically articulate at all but neither did they ever profess to be, hence the title of the band. Their first album ‘Bostin’ Steve Austin’ met mixed reviews, they were either loved or hated for their quirky style. It’s fair to say they make my beloved 5’6’7’8’s look very talented indeed! Later of course the all girl punky style band from Birmingham became mainstream and had hits in the 90’s with ‘International rescue’ and ‘Pink sunshine’.

Jay meets Frankie & Benny

I enjoy going out for meals but I’m not someone that has meals out on a regular basis, I’ve also has several meal disasters in the past with ex’s, booking tables and then when I’ve got there my name has mysteriously disappeared from the guest list, among other stories.

Tuesday I went out on a date, it was supposed to be a date at the cinema but there was some indecision over the choice of movie so I suggested a meal, then immediately winced when I thought of past disasters. Come Tuesday I’d got nothing booked (shame on me) and when my date arrived to pick me up I shrugged and said don’t worry about it.

Salvation and inspiration came to me from an unlikely source, my mobile rang and it was my friend Gary who’d just returned back from Hong Kong to see his family for Christmas. In conversation he told me a new ‘Frankie & Benny’s’ had recently opened near him. Seizing on his suggestion I told my date to head in that direction and breathed a sigh of relief.

I was a little concerned as my date is in the running to be a prospective conservative candidate and classy with it (I'm not a Tory!), basically I’d not been in a Frankie & Benny’s before so didn’t really know what to expect. On arriving it looked busy ‘will we get seats?’ I mused – Luckily we did, phew.

Sinatra's hypnotic tones schmoozed and crooned in the background, the menu had a lot to offer and the whole place made me feel like I was sat in a scene of Pulp fiction, we were even sat at the ‘Joe DiMaggio’ table (Mr Tarantino is a film god). I began to relax and so did my date Miss Tory (sounds like Mystery!). The food was excellent, the atmosphere was lively and the service was really good.

Needless to say it was a lovely evening…….. almost.

On paying with my debit card the portable machine that the waitress used for payment twice rejected my card – shock/horror and embarresment.

I know my blogging amigo Pat uses the excuses of ‘I’ve lost my bank card or ‘It doesn’t work’ and now this was happening to me, for real.

I removed the card from the machine and noticed a rough bit plastic near the front of the card that’s inserted first, smoothing it with my finger nail I inserted it back in and to my utter relief it worked.

I tipped the waitress (I said try the Lucky Hobbit in 2:10pm at Ascot) and then I signed some autograph’s for the fans outside. Top evening.

Frankie and Benny – you have a new fan!

Winter morning

I took this photo this morning on my way back from Newark and a night out, had to get my mate to stop the car so I could take in some fresh air (and clear me head). This lovely piece of Nottinghamshire countryside is located between the villages of Caunton and Kneesal.

NHS Gripes

What is it with the health service these days?

I’m a big supporter of the national health and proud of what it offers the nation but just lately my confidence in it has been severely dented.

Firstly when my mum passed away back in September certain things left a bad taste in my mouth regarding how things were handled. It’s fair to say on her death bed mum didn’t look very nice, a bloated face, blood streaming from her mouth, she was on a ventilator machine and her hair looked very unkempt. I know the nurses did all they could for her but as I left a nurse assured me she’d ‘tidy her up a bit - make her presentable’. A couple of days later I took my Granny (my mums Mum) to the hospital mortuary / chapel of rest, it was heartbreaking enough for her seeing her daughter dead but when we entered the room where mum lay it was evident that mum hadn’t really been ‘tidied up at all’. I wasn’t expecting garlands of flowers and unicorns in attendance, just for her to look presentable and respectable. When Granny left the room she looked ashen faced and shaken, I Just felt bitter, which soon turned to anger as the attendant in the mortuary tried to rush us as he had ‘another appointment’. Sorry if I come across as a tad graphic but its only now I feel able to talk about it easier.

My next gripe is about my recent appointment at the same hospital when I went to see about my eye. Firstly a bit of back story, I damaged my eye playing football years ago aged 13, thus ended any football aspirations. My eye ended up having a detached retina which I believe boxers get quite a bit from heavy blows to the head. Anyway, the years passed and so did the operations but my eye never really recovered and instead deteriorated. My recent appointment was basically to see about tidying up the way my eye looked. I was told that because my eye is effectively of no real use why should they bother operating? I stated that a lot of people have cosmetic surgery these days for very minor things, they just plead depression or anxiety, here was I stating a very genuine and honest case. The female doctor added she could speak to a colleague at Queens Medical in Nottingham that deals specifically with the cornea part of the eye and if I’d not heard anything by February to get in touch. I left hospital quietly fuming. (I will pursue this though)

My last moan is about my local doctor’s surgery. Usually when you ring to make an appointment you have to wait ages, and then if it ain’t serious they say its best to pop in and make an appointment in person. So last Friday I did exactly that, popped in and stood at the reception desk requesting a non urgent appointment, I was then told its better to phone to make one !!!

I followed that by making an enquiry for a flu jab which resulted in the receptionist asking me if I’d had a ‘letter’. I retorted I didn’t but with my eye condition the hospital had recommended a flu jab. The receptionist huffed, puffed and moaned until I interjected and said leave it and I’ll discuss it with the doctor.

What a palava it is just to get things done, I pay for prescriptions and I’m not a typical hypochondriac yet it just seems so much hard work to get anything sorted.

Now just to show I’m not a miserable bastard and that I’m sure the NHS does work for millions out there here’s a photo of my kinda nurse.

Redundant

Well, I’ve been meaning to do this post for a while but sort of kept delaying it for several reasons, though the main reason was uncertainty over events. Now as things have seemingly unfolded more I feel I can better comment on the present situation and at what the future holds.

The main thing is without waffling on is that I get made redundant on January 6th 2006 but wait - I don’t want sympathy because it’s come as a relief if I’m being honest. The office where I work is re-locating to Leeds because the business we are in is basically in decline. They could have closed our Leeds office and moved things here but we got the short straw, odd as they get paid more in our Leeds office so they would have saved money. It’s fair to say there may have been movement in the shadows that nobody knows about, some aspects of the whole thing smack of the underhanded, that’s business – often unfair, nothing as they say lasts forever. It came as a shock a while back when it was announced and there are some good people here but I’m sure we’ll all move on and prosper. The only tinge of irony for me is that it caps off what has been a shitty year but then again I was beginning to tire of working in a perpetual night time world and sleeping during the day. The job has basically made me unfit, often unsociable and was slowly starting to rot my brain with the repetition of it all and of course dealing with numpty clients on a daily basis. Reflecting back, the job hasn’t been bad, it’s financed a lot of things for me, several holidays to China and Thailand, video games, beer and also left me with a few quid in the bank. I’ll miss working with the guys I’ve worked with, they been top blokes and in truth they are what I will miss most.

The thing is, I’m not down about it, sure I will be out of a job in the New Year but they are giving me a decent redundancy and bonus for staying with the company until the end, plus I have my savings.

So what lies ahead is a bit of an adventure really, having some money in the back pocket and free time will enable me to have a holiday in the Far East again, catch up with some friends around the country and hopefully move over to Newark where my dad lives and where I also want to live. The plan is to put a bond down on a place and pay some rent in advance and then get a job, though I am applying for jobs over that way now. Of course I can’t guarantee any of this will happen but if I sit on my arse and do nothing then it won’t. My thoughts are I’d go anywhere right now, I feel ready for some life changing events, if I had a chance to work in London, I’d go but for now I have my sights on Newark.

So I guess to finish up with all I can say is I’ll be glad to see the back of this year and I look forward to 2006 and the new adventures that await this hobbit !

Slapped

Browsing Saturday’s papers I read the lovely Myleene Klass had become a victim of the new craze ‘happy slapping’. It happened in her neighbourhood of Bermondsey as she was going to the local shops (I best not slag London off here!) As I understand it yobs sneak up and slap you hard whilst filming it with the mobile phone cameras. It sickens me to the bottom of my stomach that people do this sort of thing for kicks – but what can you do?

By the time you’ve recovered from the shock they will have sprinted away, if you do manage to grab one then you’ll probably get jumped on and beaten by the rest of them or the police will show up and arrest you for assaulting them! It just strikes me that justice seems to be on the decline these days; decent people try to do decent things only for the tables to be turned. Police get the wrong end of the stick or get annoyed because you interrupted their tea break at McDonalds and if it does go to court the judge goes all soft when he hears the sob story from the yobs solicitor.

We can all say what we’d do if it happened to us, say how we’d break their arms etc but in all honesty we don’t know how we’d react until it happened.

The law needs to get tough on this type of thing – and quickly.

London can't handle it

I was watching ‘Tonight’ the current affairs program with Trevor McDonald about the new drinking laws last week. The thing I found interesting from the report was that statistically London was actually the worst hit by drink related incidents since the new opening hours have taken effect.

I guess the obvious argument is that London is the largest city and is home to the most people so there’d be more chance of incidents. The thing is I always thought London had a more laid back attitude and cosmopolitan atmosphere compared to other cities so the recent changes would not seem like a big deal. I’m sure a lot of places in London had more liberal drinking licences before anyway, especially the big clubs in and around central London.

Surprisingly the hot spot cities that were expected to be hit the worst were instead very quiet and the new changes passed without much event.

My blogging buddy Em’s did comment about Nottingham being a hot spot, sorry Em’s but the facts are above, in concluding all I can say is Londoners cannot handle the booze as well as us northerners but then again that always was a well known fact, they should stick to jellied eels and pearly suits !!!

Ming-er

Please Mr Ming Sir, can I take your daughter out for a beer and a curry?

Putting it straight (before I get punched)

It seems I have committed a slight faux pas when remarking on a comment to my blog ‘Cursed’. When answering the comment I mentioned girls from my home town are ‘grim’.

This is of course incorrect and caught the attention of Serendipity who was not best pleased. To appease her I sent a text to explain that the use of ‘grim’ only pertained to recent girls I dated. Shortly after I received a phone call from Serendipity who expressed her displeasure and also added she is 5’9 tall (intimidation for sure). Then followed a rather light-hearted chat to my relief….. and concerns for my health.

So to put the record straight, and before I incur the wrath of anymore Amazon’s from my home town – Girls from where I live are lovely, articulate and intelligent.

Brill blog's

It’s not often I mention blogs but last night I must have done the longest comment I’ve ever posted on a blog. The comment was on gawblimeyguv's blog which I thought was an amazing read, totally straight, upfront and bravely honest – blogs like this are what it’s all about for me, it was a refreshing and amazing read. Take a look, it's called 'Dead at last'.

Another blog of note is North country dispatches by a Yorkshire guy named Martyn, it's got some really interesting posts that make fluid compelling reading.

Guys if you’ve no objection I’d like to put links to your blogs on my side bar of blogs of interest?

Amendment

Martyn has actually pointed at that his regular blog is called the shrine of blind-winger jones

Radio = Nostalgia

Ah the radio, what memories it can evoke. I’ve just spent some quality time reading other blogs in the wee small hours at work when a song came on the radio that took me right back in time – ah the nostalgia.

The song was called Rock Me Amadeus by Falco.

It reached number one back in May 1986 and I loved it. I recall going to Blackpool in August of that year, I’d not long since become 18 and off I went on a ‘life initiation’ holiday with half a dozen mates. As we pulled into the car park of the holiday chalet park the radio was playing Rock Me Amadeus. Back then I had blonde streaked hair with a centre parting, I wore a slim crimson leather bow tie and pink shirt with matching pink cardigan, how young and naïve I was. The holiday was a heady mix of pubs, girls, night clubs, neon lights, amusement arcades and endless bags of chips. I was young, carefree and new to the world of adult life, to think it was nearly 20 years ago, now I feel old. Maybe I should recline and take a nap in the chair.

Dark times

I see mock rock outfit ‘The Darkness’ have released a new album entitled ‘One way ticket to Hell.... and back’ – How the heck can it be one way when they come back? Believe me these much vaunted theatrical rockers are already ‘has beens’ and the critics think so too. Irritating vocals, dire songs and the point being it’s all been done before but by better bands.

I suggest a firing squad for them at the side of the unholy river Thames, after all we can’t do it at the side of the holy river Trent and pollute our water!

Rant over.

Cursed

I’ve no trouble in meeting and dating the opposite sex but I’m cursed, yes cursed with an affliction of always meeting what turn out to be Bunny Boilers, quirky or just damn strange. I never profess to be an expert on the female psyche, even with qualifications in psychotherapy and psychology but I can safely say women can still be quite unfathomable at times, largely by their own admission too. The thing is I end up (or maybe get drawn to) the odder side of the feminine world.

Why can’t I just find a plain Jane of normal disposition that is chatty, caring and fun?

Far from it, I get the loonies, the ones that seem ok initially then suddenly turn quite bizarre or intense. My back catalogue of female acquaintances reads like a hammer horror script list bar a few sparse exceptions ( I nearly said ‘odd exceptions then !).

Rant over.

Hate it already

Christmas, I hate it already with a passion, it should ideally be banned and holiday time allocated in summer instead. Already we are a nation in Christmas overkill, deluged with adverts, junk mail and ostentatious decorations as households vie to out do each other with external pompous inflatable Santa’s. Ban it all I say – bah humbug.

I may even out do my blogging amigo Pat this year in the misery stakes.

Rant over.

Eubank

It appears Chris Eubank is bankrupt, owing 1.3 million having squandered over 10 million of his personal fortune. It doesn’t get any better though, Mrs Eubank has walked out with the kids and he’s now living in rented accommodation. When I read the full story I didn’t feel sorry for the guy at all, firstly he’s always been an arrogant plush suited monocle wearing fop, all very self deluding considering he comes from a poor background.

So what went wrong?

Mr Eubank himself blames it on poor financial advice; other sources say he never took any advice at all. It seems that each day lawbreaking fines would land on the door mat as Eubank liked to park his American truck anywhere in Brighton he chose to, on one occasion he took the family to cinema in it, only for it to be removed and a hefty fine incurred. That’s just one tale of his excess fuelled lifestyle, when shopping in London’s Knightsbridge Eubank decided to take a taxi 300 yards to another shop on the same street, surely an athlete would prefer to walk the short journey in no time at all? – not Eubank. There’s other tales of unpaid fines, court appearances and £1,400 meals he preferred not to pay for.

Expect to see him back in the boxing ring soon - hopefully someone will knock some common sense into him.

Mirren

On reading the Daily Express yesterday I couldn’t help drool at Helen Mirren on the front cover, even if she is 60 she still looks stunning for her age. On commenting about her youthful looks it seems that she doesn’t do plastic surgery and works out just now and again. She posed nude aged 50 and at 58 she again disrobed for the film calendar girls.

My guess is she’ll still look fab in years to come - oh and her acting isn’t bad either!

Scandal

Another interesting story I read in the Daily Express yesterday was about John Profumo. For those of you that are unsure who he is you may recall the 1989 film ‘Scandal’ with Joanne Whalley, John Hurt and Ian McKellan about war minister John Profumo who had an affair with Christine Keeler which led to the downfall of the MacMillan government.

Anyway, back to the main point of this blog, the story in the paper told about the 90 year old Profumo attending the memorial service of Ted Heath. The article mentioned how after his resignation he was supported by his wife and allowed to settle in anonymity and not hassled by the press back in the sixties. There was a general understanding back then that you didn’t kick a man when he was down and the church still preached redemption (I’m beyond redemption). The points I really liked was in the conclusion of the story, the first being that Profumo never sought to cash in on the story in fact he led a life of charity work, the second point was the fact even though the sixties were considered wild - how normal they seem by today’s standards!

Gas leak

A work related story I shall share. Where I work we do property maintenance for WH Smiths and their warehouses across the country but the last few days we’ve had a unusual amount of gas leak calls from them.

The reason why was soon discovered.

A recent children’s magazine has been dispatched with a free gift for those rascals out there, the gift being ‘stink bombs’!

Basically the workers in warehouses unaware of the stink bomb free gift attached basically threw the bundles of magazines around thus releasing the pungent odour of the bombs – the result being gas leak panics nationwide, it was the same when the magazine reached the stores too!

All that glitters is not gold

I’ve been following the news of Gary Glitter’s antics in the Far East, not out of interest in the singer basically to see what they end up doing with him – I just hope it’s severe.

It’s hard to believe that once Mr Glitter (real name Paul Gadd) was a national icon and had sold 18 million records by 1975. He was the original comeback kid having been bankrupt several times he always managed to resurface and take his show back on the road, in his latter years he appealed to students who liked the camp image for its irony.

Now of course any image he had is tarnished forever by his sick actions.

Having had several holidays in the Far East I know they don’t generally mess about too much with criminals and the penalties are harsh, in fact we should adopt some of their no nonsense ideas over here – and with that I don’t mean going around killing people!

I don’t think it will be long before we hear about the demise of Mr Glitter and the world will be safer from his unsavoury behaviour.

The latest news is that he’s applied for residency in Vietnam and he’s denied any wrong doing at all, in fact he claims he was teaching young girls English!

The reality of course is far different and sinister, recent news stories tell of him molesting a young waitress in a bar, which was seen by all, he was ejected after by the English bar owner and also a 15 year girl being found in his apartment, the list goes on but I don’t really want to go into it. It’s a catalogue of shame and also reflects badly on the English people who flock to this area of the world in their tens of thousands each year. Let’s hope Mr Glitter stumbles into one of the land mined area’s out there and goes kaboom.

Tenebrous Tales

Drum roll….

The moment you’ve all been waiting for - the unveiling of my new blog.

‘ Tenebrous Tales ’

A blog that will hopefully contain short stories, poetry and prose that lean towards darkness, surrealism and fiction/fantasy. If you're unsure what tenebrous means then pick up a dictionary or check the definition out on the blog header!

Please click here for the link and feel free to add it to your own links.

Happy reading

Writers block

I’ve got writers block and you just can’t write/type with it, that’s for sure – whatever you put down on the screen just doesn’t look right when your not on a roll. I want to get my new blog up and running this week but first I have to complete my first descriptive piece I want to put on it, otherwise there’s an empty blog sat there. So bear with me folks, it will happen, even with Pat and Shep haranguing me! The invites should be sent this week.

Almost there

It won’t be long before I’ve set up my blog for creative fictional pieces, it’s seems a couple of you guys are interested and contributing so I will be sending out invite emails in the next couple of days when I’ve put the finishing touches to it, then you’ll have your own interface and be able to post. There won’t be any rules really for contributing but I don’t really want any stories that could be branded as ‘nice’, though romance pieces with twists are ok. I want the blog to have a noir feel about it, gutsy and imaginative where nothing is taboo.

And yes I have a name for it !

Creative juices

I’m thinking of doing a another blog with a creative writing slant. I’ve got several ideas milling around in my head, short stories and such that would perhaps be best in a blog of their own. I have posted a couple of creative bits and bobs before but I don’t really want my blog to become a mish-mash of randomness (ok smart comments from pat!). I’m sure some of you out there may be interested in contributing if I do a team blog thing? I may have to consult with shep how to go about that after he set up the joint dream blog a short while back.

I don’t want it to be a blog of ‘nice’ stories, I want sleaze, violence, sex, treachery, debauchery, bondage, vampires, lust and of course jaffa cakes. I don’t think I will be posting epic stuff on it, just short pieces, ideas that drift in and out of my empty head in those productive day dreaming moments.

If anyone of my fellow blogging associates are interested then let me know – let’s get those dark side creative juices flowing!

Stuff & nonsense ~ 3

Another weekend, another hangover, still it was better than last weekend. Last weekend involved a trip to Tamworth in Staffordshire, not too much of a train journey away from me really. Anyway I won’t go into details about my foray to Tamworth, that’s another story, it did turn out to be a bit surreal though – people aren’t always what they seem.

Anyway back to this weekend. Friday I went to my local and played cards, I lost far too much money and still suffering from the flu had copious quantities of Carlsberg and whiskey for medicinal purposes of course. Saturday began with the hang over from hell that just wouldn’t go. I made an effort to pop into town very early and pay some bills and do a little bit of retail therapy. My friend Dave came around later and we ended up watching Sin City on dvd (that’s about 20 odd times for me). Later that day I popped to see my friend Alen that’s having a hard time getting over his ex, usually I drop into counselling mode and listen to his woes and try to be supportive but as we’d quickly polished off some stella I decided to hit him with a couple of home truths, some straight talking. We ended up down at his local and the no nonsense talk continued, in a way I really empathised with him as my ex has taken some getting over but there comes a time when you have to dust yourself down and make steps forward even though it's emotionally hard. Within no time we were both drunk and putting the world to rights, Later Alen booked a taxi and shortly after that I popped to the gents, saw the taxi waiting and wobbled over;

‘Taxi for Alen?’ the driver nodded and I said ‘that’s’ me’

As the taxi pulled off I slumped in the back with an evil grin knowing poor old Alen would be waiting for the taxi – how mercenary of me.

Sunday passed without event, a spot of video game playing and yet another hangover to contend with, the flat was a pig sty but I just couldn’t be arsed to deal with it. Later I ended up in the pub with Alen again (yes he’d forgiven me) and again had too much to drink, considering I had to be up at 5am to get to work and travel to our Leeds office to do some training with them. I must have reeked of beer sat in the car with my boss. My eyes semi closed with the mundane motorway travel I mused to myself ‘soon be next weekend’.

Nottingham Vs London

Well, after much banter with Pat and Em’s it’s time to put the record straight about which is the greater city. Evidence and information has been collated fairly and using up to date information. So here goes.

Culture & History

London is teeming with culture and steeped in history, it’s probably the most historical city in the world. London is crammed with the very essence of different cultures and diversities, it’s probably the most multicultural place on the planet.

Nottingham though having a wealth of history all of its own doesn’t match up to London. It is however very cosmopolitan and is home to many different cultures and ethnic people.

Score: London 10, Nottingham 7

Nightlife

London of course has theatres and bars and clubs into the hundreds, it’s an entertainment mecca to millions every year, it’s a place that has something for everyone whatever your taste or vice may be.

Ideally situated in the heart of the UK, Nottingham is accessible for very many. Though it cannot brag the same amount of bars and clubs as London, Nottingham has a flavour of its own, there’s casino’s, rock clubs, open air bistro’s and vibrant clubs, it’s a city that has a very fresh appeal.

Score: London 10, Nottingham 7

Crime

London is noted for it’s past villains and gangsters; it’s been a victim to recent terrorism and generally has a fair old bit of underworld activity, theft and muggings throughout the day.

Nottingham was recently on t.v and hailed has the crime capital of the country, statistics show that Nottinghamshire police are undermanned and seemingly overwhelmed by the rising level of crime. Over the past couple of years gun crime has risen dramatically and its fair to say if you piss the right person off then they will pop a cap in your ass. Wild west, Chicago gang land and the Kray’s move over – Nottingham is the daddy, home also to the legendary outlaw Robin Hood.

Score: London 8, Nottingham 9

Transport

If you need to get anywhere in London its easy, the underground, buses, thousands of taxi’s, major train stations and huge airports – it may be crowded but it’s generally easy to get from A to B in London.

Nottingham whilst having a decent tram system and buses in abundance doesn’t really quite match up to London for ways and means of getting about.

Score: London 10, Nottingham 7

Links to Robin Hood

London may have the odd street or close named after the legendary hero but that’s about it (15 streets with Robin Hood in the name), Robin never really got down that neck of the woods, perhaps he didn’t care for London at all. Alas Robin Hood doesn’t have much sway in London, not even a monument.
Nottingham is the home to Robin and his merry band, there’s a statue, Nottingham castle, a museum and references almost everywhere. Just down the road is the ancient oak tree called the major oak where Robin hid from the sheriff of Nottingham. Robin is also alleged to have owned several casino’s and brothels and the local ice hockey stadium but I cannot confirm those facts at the time of this going to print, I can state however I have not visited the brothel. So, to conclude, Nottingham is Robin Hood and vice versa, Men in green tights are always fashionable.

Score: London 2, Nottingham 10

Final Score London 39 – Nottingham 40

So that’s it, Nottingham wins by a whisper – and rightly so, sorry Pat and Em’s !!!

There's no place like Rome

I really enjoyed the first episode of ‘Rome’ the new mini series that began on bbc2 last night at 9pm. A really graphic look at how Rome really may have been, bawdy, corrupt, decadent and full of power play intrigue – my kind of place. It’s good to see a refreshing bit of telly at long last that isn’t afraid to depict things with adhering to political correctness.

This era of history really appeals to me, I have a few books on it but I’m no expert but the whole programme had the right feel to it.

It made me giggle when I thought of how my blogging buddies would fit into the Roman era.

I see myself as the archetypal roman, sat there on my horse (well my little pony) and looking arrogant and pompous, surveying all my willing servants and slaves, ever popular with the pleb masses.

Pat of course would have to be the Germanic or Gaul type with that long beard but instead of wielding a sword and yelling some barbarian war cry you can be sure he’d he commenting how arty and avant-garde the nearby tree’s look.

Em’s of course is often a stalwart opponent of our chauvinistic blog comments, so she’d have to be a concubine or roman kitchen slave !

Shep, like me is of typical roman stock, quick witted and an eye for the ladies, a book worm and cunning linguist for sure !

Serendipity seems to be the strong willed type so I’d have to put her down as the rebellious Boudicca (at least with a chariot you would not run out of petrol on the way home from work!)

Lastly I’d like to say something about Minxtress but as I’m just getting to know her it would not really be fair, so perhaps you could add something in the comments section !?

Wunderbar

They’ve been around for years, they are eccentric, off the wall and seemingly quite mad but they are also musical geniuses. I’m talking about Sparks, the brothers Ron and Russell Mael from L.A.

Their last album Lil' Beethoven is one that will ever grace my mp3 player, it’s a work of modern day madrigals devoted to today’s suburban society. Never once does this album try to conform, in fact it does the opposite with panache and style and a single chorus hook can be turned into a song with pomp, majesty and an infectious tune that can get you chanting along with abandon. Vocal harmonies intertwine with uplifting sharp vocals, piano’s sync with keyboards, punchy guitars make appearance when apt to the mood, some of it is offbeat, some of it surreal but all of it relevant. There’s no moralistic messages here, just pure indulgence in the music and the lyrics. From the sublime opening track of ‘Rhythm thief’ you know you’re in for a treat, eclectic Sparks at their best as they deliver songs such as the raw and powerful ‘Ugly guys with beautiful girls’, the pure anthem of ‘My babies taking me home’ to the surreal ‘Wunderbar. The deluxe edition has extra tracks and is definitely worth a couple of extra £’s of you money. Buy, switch off, indulge – enjoy.

In Spark’s own ostensible words "nine scintillating works of seduction and self-delusion"

Nottingham

Well after a comment from Em’s on Pat’s blog about me not posting any photo’s of Nottingham I thought I’d better retort and do exactly that – post some! So below are some photo’s I took a few weeks ago and one I borrowed from the net (cheats always prosper).

The first is of the the council building on slab square, a lovely cosmopolitan area of Nottingham that’s nearly always lively with something happening, a lot of people pick it as a meeting place and at weekends there’s usually an attraction of some sort. Most people like to just sit on the adjoining walls in summer and just chill out. Surrounding the square are lots of shops and bars, its an area where there’s something for everyone.

The second picture is the tram which has come down Victoria street and is picking up passengers at the side of slab square, none of those cramped tubes here (Em’s and Pat take note!!).

Lastly here is a photo of the Trip to Jerusalem pub (borrowed), allegedly the oldest in England and a place where knights would gather to have a drink before embarking on the Crusades, though they probably would have had a drink in the next town! The pub nestles below Nottingham castle at the front of sandstone rocks, it’s more of a touristy pub really.

'G' mail

My current internet service provider NTL has been poor of late, this last week its been a lottery as to if my email works or not. So I decided to seek an alternative source of email, I wanted something other than the common hotmail so I decided to check out Google’s Gmail.

There was no link to it on the main search engine so I typed in ‘Gmail’ and was taken to a news link that said
Internet search leader Google has been forced to change the name of its free Gmail email service in Britain after failing to secure the necessary trademark.

‘Google has been sparring with UK financial research company Independent International Investment Research (IIIR) since launching Gmail on April 1, 2004 and shaking up the free email market by offering large amounts of storage for free. Starting Thursday, British users who sign up for Gmail, which has been in a "beta" trial phase since its launch last year, will receive addresses ending in "googlemail.co.uk" rather than "gmail.com." The two companies have been in heated negotiations to settle the dispute, but they have been unable to reach an agreement.’

Anyway, I sign up for a Google account only to find out ‘Googlemail’ is invitation only, so that’s as far as I got. I’ve emailed a few people recently and if you’ve not got my mail then I can only apologise and blame NTL, its not me ignoring you!

Honesty factor

You have to admire the BBC for being honest, I’ve just been browsing their entertainment news section and found an article on the X-Factor, it reads;

‘On Saturday, the show won the ratings war with BBC One's Strictly Come Dancing for the second consecutive week - with an average of 8.1m viewers compared to 7m for the BBC talent contest’

I guess that pretty much sum’s up that the nation are avid reality tv fans and that light entertainment is now firmly in second place. After following a link to another news segment I mentioned that the recent American X-factor pulled in an amazing 31 million viewers for the final back in May of this year.

I’ve always been a fan of reality t.v but my thoughts of late dwell on where it’s actually going to go? Will it become an integral part of today’s telly and remain for good or will the current surge of interest end? Time will tell.

Stuff & nonsense ~ 2

Well, as weekends go, mine was pretty poor. You work all week and look forward to your days off and then they turn out crap. Friday the weather was lousy but I risked a soaking and went to the local off licence and got myself a few cans. I caught up with a few friends on msn and even got chatting to legendary blogger Shep who was having some quality time at the end of his week. It ended up being a late night and after a week of little sleep due to the kids being off school and playing football outside my flat I slept soundly. Saturday morning I stumbled out of bed quite early and walked to the newsagents to get a paper and a can of sprite to revive me. I then settled to watch the 'Usual suspects' on dvd that a workmate borrowed me, sadly it didn’t really strike a chord with me, couldn’t fault the acting but the film never really took off in my opinion – I may have to watch Sin City again for the 17th time.

That night I went across to dad’s with Dave my mate, the plan being to have a top night out in the town where my dad lives, it never happened. Firstly Dave was late and began to moan he had a cold, then when we got to dads instead of going out straight away we ended up installing a dvd drive on his pc and installing some new software, by the time we got out it was nearly 9pm and I was quite pissed off.

Dad had promised the landlord in his local a hard drive after he asked if we could get him a free one, as Dave works in an IT job it was no problem, so we took the free hard drive in, only to get a vexed expression in return from the landlord. I asked if it was ok and he shrugged ‘I really meant a pc, but a free one’. You could have knocked me down with a feather, the cheeky beggar!

Anyway, we stopped for beer or two and this large bloke perched at one end the bar started to get aggressive with the landlord, as we looked on at the ensuing scene he turned to us and said ‘what are you looking at !?’ then began to turn his abuse our way, we all kept cool and in due course he wobbled off towards another pub but by then the night was soured.

Instead of staying over at dad’s Dave took his cold home and I ended up taking a walk to a Chinese take away feeling like my one night out in a blue moon had been wasted, oh well !

Sunday, I gave dad a bit of tutoring on his pc before he drove me home, I joked as he dropped me off home that it wasn’t Wembley stadium outside my flat, alas I tempted fate and the little imps returned to play football.

End of an era

I read on the net the other day that Marylin Manson is retiring from music (or may well have retired) to concentrate on making movies. I love Manson's music and really enjoyed reading his biography, he might not be everyone’s cup of tea but he’s a man with a message, he unleashes my dark side – yes hobbits have dark sides too!

If his films are as good as some of his songs, then we are in for a surreal treat, a tour de force of the dark side of a mad genius’s imagination.

Oh yes, and I just had to find a photo with his gorgeous girlfriend Dita Von Teese on it !!

Where are you?

I was walking to work listening Pulp on my mp3 player and then it struck me when the ‘Mis-shapes’ song came on…

Whatever happened Pulp front man Jarvis Cocker?

Where is the angular, slender and very iconic pop star? Where are those working class anthems he used to do? Songs with lyrics that tell a story to a jaunty tune that you just can’t get out of your head, songs of peaceful rebellion and real life love?

Come back Jarvis, this country needs you!

The 80's (my faves)

I just looked at serendipity’s blog and saw her top ten of the 80’s, sorry Serendipity but I had to cringe a little. Off came the cobwebs as I sat in my chair at work and the nostalgia monster kicked in. Ahh Serendipity I should thank you! You gave me that 80’s buzz at work (and a sense to right a few wrongs of injustice… Rick Astley indeed, still each to their own). Eighties music is such a big subject to cover, the decade started by shaking the last vestiges of punk off and was sprinkled with a lot of influences, synth, ska, rock, pop and yes… Adam with is antmusic. My music collection is heavily dominated by the 80’s, in fact I’m an 80’s freakazoid. I bought an 80’s cd from the States for £75 once.

Get me talking about the 80’s and I will probably waffle all night, even when you’ve left me with my beer and long gone home, I’ll be sat there in nostalgic euphoria, eyes half shut and dribble coming from my mouth. I did say in an earlier blog the ‘Temptation’ by Heaven 17 was my all time favourite, it’s been replaced after much thought by ‘In love with a German Film star’ by the Passions.

So here goes, I present my 80’s ideal top 30, the order is not sorta loose after number 5. As I say, it’s a big era to cover so sorry if I’ve missed out bands like Bon Jovi, Queen, U2 and all the other one hit wonder bands that were around – I still love them all but there just ain’t enough room!

1 - The Passions – I’m in love with a German film star
2 - Heaven 17 – Temptation
3 - Blondie – Atomic
4 - Visage – Fade to grey
5 - The Stranglers – Golden Brown
6 - Kraftwerk – The Model
7 - Human League – Don’t you want me (baby)
8 - B-Movie – Nowhere girl
9 - Vision – Lucifer’s friend
10 - Duran Duran – Union of the Snake
11 - Men without hats – Safety Dance
12 - The Associates – Party fears two
13 - New Order – Blue Monday
14 - Teardrop Explodes – Reward
15 - Gang of Four – I love a man in uniform
16 - Siouxsie and the Banshee’s – Happy house
17 - All About Eve – What kind of fool
18 - Kajagoogoo – Big apple
19 - Falco – Rock Me Amadeus
20 - Gary Numan – Cars
21 - Belouis Some – Imagination
22 - Sisters of Mercy – This corrosion
23 - Adam and the Ants – Antmusic
24 - Spear of Destiny – Never take me alive
25 - Frankie goes to Hollywood – Two tribes
26 - Dexy’s Midnight Runners – Geno
27 - The Adventures – One step from heaven
28 - Department S - Is Vic there?
29 - INXS – Never tear us apart
30 - The Go-Go's - Our lips are sealed

Stuff and nonsense ~ 1

I feel the urge to waffle so for regular readers I’m going to call waffle type blogs ‘Stuff & nonsense’ at least that way you can give it a swerve if you don’t want to read my everyday stuff.

My dad has finally entered the realm of personal computers, work was selling off some cheap ones for £80 and they were very good for the money so I grabbed dad one. I was over at dads at the weekend taking him through his first tentative steps on the pc, it was quite funny really but then it struck me that although dad doesn’t know how to use a pc he can strip and rebuild an engine, something I cannot do, it was a classic case of the generation gap, things being more hands on in dads day.

One thing that’s bugging me is the amount of junk mail I’m getting via Mr Postman, when I had to sign for a parcel the other day I asked why I was getting so much of it and he replied he gets paid extra for the leaflets he posts, good for him I say but a waste on resources really, plus they always get binned by me, its sort of reality spam.

My psychotherapy certificate arrived yesterday, so that closes that chapter, I was surprised it was level 3, the last part of the diploma being level 2, so I was a happy bunny. Of course now I have to go and get a counselling type job but in truth I’d rather be a film extra, backpacker or a multitude of others that flit through my mind daily.

Oh yes, I had a huge hangover at the weekend too, thanks go out to Holsten pils for that!

Through the looking glass

A friend has sort of inspired me to do this blog, it’s a bit reflective just like hers is. I’m really not trying to disclose here, just share something of my past with everyone, I just like to give a bit of myself now and again. If anything its good to look at the past like my friend did in her blog and see how I’ve/we’ve moved on and learned.

Well my little slice of self history goes back about four or so years ago when I was in the middle of a rapidly declining two year relationship. After being made redundant from my job at the brewery I decided to go to college and get some formal IT skills in certificate form, after all breweries aren’t ten a penny in towns. Being a student at 30-something was a lot of fun, it brought out the inner child within me and got the creative juices flowing, within no time I was doing a spoof college newspaper, getting into lots of trouble and loving it. It’s all well and good being mature and sensible but if there’s one thing my psychotherapy background has taught me it’s that the inner child is always present, I’ve never shunned my inner child, its part of who I am.

Anyway, whilst in college library one day in walked the most cute little thing, flowing brown hair, curvy, a mona lisa type of face and lips that offered a thousand kisses – from that moment I was smitten. I tried not to stare but soon she was having problems with her pc so I did the gallant thing and helped out. Her voice was gentle, her manner shy and coy just talking to her my legs were shaking. She explained she was just there to take a test to see if she could get on a course at the college. I had to drag myself away from her, she was intoxicating, she took the test and left, my heart sank - would I see her again? I recall the vision as she left, she had a creamy woollen top on, a long formal skirt and a lovely round face, her shoulders were framed by a mass of thick chestnut brown tangled hair clasped into a loose ponytail. Some would say she looked frumpy, to me she was an angel.

Several weeks passed and then one morning when I sauntered into the college reception and she was there, my heart nearly leapt through my chest when she smiled at me in recognition, from that moment the chase was on. Needless to say the past moment in the library when I’d helped her had paid dividends. Soon we were sharing laughter in the canteen at lunchtime, going for walks in the nearby woods after, tentatively clutching hands - I was drowning in a sea of love. It was school boy stuff, only here I was in my thirties, the last thing on my mind was sex, I was just awestruck.

Then the darkness came, people see other people happy and want to change it, they want tears and misery because they don’t have the same, envy turns to jealousy and then the lies begin. Several unsavoury characters and certain people I’d pissed off with my spoof college newspaper began to exact revenge. It was easy for them really; Deb was a family girl, very naïve to say she was in her late twenties so she quickly fell victim to the untruths and deceit. She seemed to be spending a lot of time with a tutor who’d fixed her pc, he seemed pretty harmless and not being the jealous type I didn’t think much of it.

Soon after it was nearing time to leave college and Deb’s course was ending too, she took me for a final walk in the sunny filterd woods after lunch and ended what we had. She walked back and I remained staring at the trees, tears cascading down my face, so hot I thought they’d burn rivulets in my cheeks.

We both left college, the last week being agony as we hardly spoke but then to my joy I started receiving emails from her and things suddenly looked up. On leaving college I’d got a crappy job in Nottingham proof reading for a publisher, the job sucked and my retina’s felt burnt out at the end of each day, Deb was on my mind 24/7 and at work I used to craft emails to her in my head then send them later, even though my eyes stung. A few weeks after we met again, kissed softly and hugged, nothing more happened, I didn’t want it to, she was like a vase of purity that I didn’t want to break. We began to spend more time together, mainly Saturday’s, each encounter at my place led to us immersing ourselves in each other. We’d not made love yet but we’d come close.

Soon after I got my present job, the wage was good and it was close to where I lived, I would type Deb long emails whilst at work, it was a nice time. Then one weekend she told me she wanted to stay the whole weekend, spend more time with me, I was floating with excitement. When she arrived she seemed fine, and then as I leaned in to kiss her she pushed me aside before going to the toilet and locking herself in, sobbing uncontrollably. Despite my pleas she stayed put so I waited at the top of the stairs, musing what I’d done wrong. She came out and sat beside me, tried to force a smile and then clutched my trembling hand. She told me she had something to tell me, something terrible and that after I would not want to know her at all. Ashen faced I nodded and then she began.

It turned out that she’d being seeing the tutor who had fixed her pc, they’d been on several innocent dates and she saw him as someone that would help her build her confidence but on her last date with him things had gone wrong. They been out for a meal and then gone back to his, he’d put a video on and then plied her with cider. Later when she wanted to go home he made the excuse he couldn’t drive and she could sleep in the spare room but on helping her upstairs he sprang his trap and began to forcibly kiss her. He then guided her into the bedroom and had his way, she recalled she just froze at the time, it was over quickly and he fell asleep, she huddled and cried until the morning. When morning came he took her home, they sat in silence in the car like nothing had ever happened, flatly she told him she would not see him anymore, he drove away.

As the story ended every ounce of life had left me, I lay on my stomach and began to cry, hiding my head in my arms but my tears soon turned to rage, I was thumping the landing so hard my knuckles bled, on that landing, on that night my world collapsed. I’m not used to anger and when you aren’t it consumes you totally, rationality leaves you, it’s like an out of body experience. Eventually I calmed down, she was crying too, then she led me to the bedroom and the unexpected happened as she said ‘ make love to me Jay’. Amazed I turned to her and said ‘why?’ she replied ‘because I want to know what real love feels like – real love Jay.

A night of uncontrollable love making followed, as we entwined with each other and became tangled in the sheets, we paused only to cry or drink water, it was passion like I’ve never felt or known, it was sweeter than the sounds of summer.

Our real relationship began then and those first months were magical, weekends filled with laughter and lovemaking, it was as good as it gets – I was such a happy hobbit.

But read on my friends the tale does not end there.

When you love someone utterly you tend to be oblivious, you give all of yourself and nothing else matters, love after all should be unconditional.

That’s when things started to go wrong, I gave to much, became complacent and that’s when Deb began to take advantage. I recall seeing an offer on two mobile phones, back when they weren’t cheap, so I decided to buy two matching ones. On showing them Deb she wasn’t impressed, they just weren’t good or expensive enough. Then later at Christmas I spent over £400 on presents for her, Christmas morning came and she opened them ‘it’s not much is it?’ she said without emotion opening her sixth present. Soon after it was her birthday and I decided to do something impressive, a new restaurant had opened in town so I rang and booked a table. The night of her birthday came and we walked into the new restaurant, Deb was on my arm and I felt on cloud nine.

‘I booked a table for two back on Wednesday’ I said to the maitre-de

He again asked for my name and added it wasn’t there, I laughed and said there must be some mistake, he looked again and confirmed that my name wasn’t present. I turned open mouthed to Deb but she was already storming out the door. Hastening after her she began wailing theatrically and stomping her feet – how could I do this to her on her birthday!?

In an attempt to calm her down I suggested another new place across town that was supposed to be good, I calmed her down and coaxed her there but to my horror they were fully booked. Getting outside her screams filled the busy street, was this my Deb? The she announced it was over, she was calling her dad to pick her up. I recall everyone was looking at our scene, grinning at the misery on my face. As she stormed to a phone box I noticed a nearby Indian restaurant that I used to frequent and in a last ditch effort I managed to persuade her to go there. She did so but reluctantly, she still told me it was over and that after the meal she would leave. Composing myself I recognised one of the Indian waiters, slipping him a crisp tenner I told him to lay it on thick with the service and bring the champagne on in the silverware ice trolley, he did so and did me proud. Before long she was playing footsie with me under the table and laughing. I was left feeling stunned yet sympathetic to her outrage; I put it down to just drawing bad cards on the night but her sudden mood swings were beginning to puzzle me.

After that, things didn’t get any easier, Deb became more confident, made more decisions and I became more passive but still eager to please. I knew I was fast reaching a point where I couldn’t meet her demands, whatever I did just wasn’t good enough. I had a heart to heart with a confidante at work and she said to me ‘Jay, it sounds like this relationship is making you more sadder then happy’ – she was right but I still didn’t want to end it.

As time passed and Deb and I reflected on the past I began to notice several holes in her story about her night with the tutor, so in a drunken rage I rang him and demanded answers, he seemed surprised by my accusations and vehemently denied them; adding Deb was more than willing.

My whole life was descending into apathy, nothing I did was ever right and I felt worthless, my self esteem hit rock bottom and I couldn’t handle Deb’s mood swings.

Some time later Deb had shall we say a ‘female’ problem with her downstairs and that ruled sex out, we spent less time together, I tried to visit and support her through her ordeal but I was shunned, she thought she had something seriously wrong with her and feared the worst. Time passed, we chatted on the phone almost daily but we knew it was over, instead of visiting she’d make excuses, she said she was having a time out and staying at a hotel retreat but several weeks earlier I’d found a text from a fella on her mobile. Yes as you probably guessed, the end came, she dumped me over the phone and I never saw or heard from her again, she lived several miles away so at least I wouldn’t have the pain of bumping into her again, with or without a new fella.

So, the end brings us to my friends blog, where she looked back and reflected, saw she was being used and wanted to share her painful past with us, her disclosure has to be admired and respected – how brave she really is.

Reality sour grapes

The screen actors guild in America has compiled a report where it states 3,523 roles for actors were lost last year due to the growth in the reality tv industry. They also added the airtime for reality tv has risen from 15 to 22 hours.

Let’s face it, a high percentage of Americans want to be actors, a fact their own media and films highlight often. America is probably the biggest promoter of reality telly and of course the actors wouldn’t be moaning if they got a slot fronting a reality tv show! Personally I think reality tv happens to be a phase the television industry is going through and in due course the excitement over it and the current reality show trends will settle down but lets not forget the positive side of reality tv.

The positives to me outweigh the negatives, shows like international wife swap often conclude with both families having learned and gained something from the cultural cross exchange that takes place, not only do they make friends from it, they also realise their own short fallings and rectify them. How can shows like this be a bad thing? Of course there are other shows that depict obvious benefits and show social and psychological personal improvements, show’s such as ‘Bad Lad’s Army’ and the recent 1950’s holiday camp one which offer people a fascinating insight into our recent past. Programme’s like this show visual improvement in people as they realise the constraints of the past and what people had to endure so thus through hardships thus we see personal growth and improvement, no bad thing in today’s trashy society (ok I like trashy). There’s a lot of other show’s I could mention, the driving school ones, the cookery ones but the thing is, as people we can relate to them, we can identify with driving school shows and quip at how we made the same mistakes during lessons. The bulk of non celeb reality shows are interesting socio-psychological experiments with more often than not positive out comes for all concerned.

The beauty of reality tv is that it offers the chance for joe public to volunteer, to become the actor/actress, there’s no affiliation to actors guilds or acting school qualifications needed, just a personality, and joe public often shines through to make top entertainment. I often wonder how many times characters have been told by other people in life ‘your funny or talented – you should be on the telly’? At least reality tv gives the masses a chance to shine, it’s a forum.. Ironically its wannabe actors that are trying to get on reality tv to get noticed, I refer to the recent Makosi big brother revelation when it was leaked she was actually with a talent agency.

Ok, so there’s a lot of crap reality tv show’s on the box right now but lets take the ones like I’ve mentioned and embrace the fact that they are an insightful look into the human psyche and generally something we can all learn from as well as have a light hearted giggle at and not take too seriously. When I watched the X factor at the weekend I had a lump in my throat as the hopefuls made it through the final and when show’s like that evoke empathy and put us in touch with our emotions, that’s got to be a positive, Seeing people get on in life instead of resenting it like the cynics and critics has to be admired in anybody.

Diamond bloke

I rate Dominik Diamond, I like his fresh, witty and forthright column in the Daily Star plus the stuff he does for computer magazines etc. I’ve always thought he was cool since his Gamesmaster days on Channel 4 when he was almost always sublimely sardonic with the guests and contestants. In his recent Wednesday column in the Daily Star he mentioned how British family seaside resorts are dying a slow deaths due to yobs on stag weekends and tacky boozers. I grinned when he mentioned the Australian theme bars known as ‘Walkabout Inn’s’ because I work for them in an indirect capacity and I personally think they suck. I remember on the first date with my ex, we were in Nottingham and before she caught the train home we decided to have a drink down by the river Trent. We stumbled upon a Jongleurs comedy bar which are actually owned by Regent Inn’s who also run the Walkabout pubs. On entering we were greeted by a throng of vociferous rugby player types all competing in some pant dropping game, not my idea of a first date location but how was I to know! The drinks prices were hideous and the toilets were verging on medieval. Dominik was right in his column, Walkabout bars are naff, totally and utterly naff, I’m sure they reflect nothing of what a real Australian pub is like. That’s the thing with these big pub chains these days, they are killing the individuality of pubs by making them generic homes for beer quaffing yobs who think they are somewhere stylish.

Record breaker

Official figures now show the Sony PSP to be the most successful console launch ever in the UK, a whopping 185,000 were sold in the first weekend of its release. At first people were sceptical of Sony’s own figures but these have now been clarified by Chart-Track among other independent sources. Adding to that success 9 of the 10 slots in the games charts were filled by PSP titles. The games press are heralding Sony’s Marketing strategy and savvy with the timing of the launch, the anticipation of the British public for the machine coupled with this countries current obsession with gadgets being another major factor of the launch success. Sony’s new slick hand held revelation sold twice the amount of the gimmicky Nintendo Ds which sold 87,000 units in its first weekend. Personally I see it as Sony giving the gaming public more of what they want and demand these days, top games on the move with the ability to watch movies and play music, something the quirky Nintendo Ds cannot do.

Jade

It makes you giggle sometimes how the press sensationalise things at times. I refer to ex big brother star Jade Goody who headlined the tabloids this week with an alleged shoplifting incident. After the hullabaloo has died down it seems the millionairess was just involved in a misunderstanding with shop staff and no charges are being made. A lot of people sneer and mock Jade but you can’t fault her for her fame, all she did was volunteer for a reality tv show and happen to do well out of it. I’ll admit a lot of the people that go on big brother have no talent at all, they are wannabe’s (alot of us are) but Jade has that common touch people relate too, she’s not a smart arse, she’s just working class girl that’s done good and enjoying life, which is something most of us crave.

Kiss News

China has just announced they have their very own 'Kiss' tribute band, the photo taken below being the most recent the band have released. (made me giggle anyway!)

Also worth a mention to fellow Kiss fans is the Kiss Expo is coming to Nottingham Rock City on Saturday November 19th. Kiss drummer Eric Singer will be making an appearence as well as Kiss tribute band 'Dressed to Kill'. There's also a Kiss podcast site I've found though sadly it's subcriber service though very good still for Kiss news.

Kiss Expo link: http://kissexpo.co.uk/

Kiss Podcast link: http://www.kisspodcast.com/

Dressed to Kill link : http://www.dressed-to-kill.co.uk/page-welcome/page-welcome.htm

Marv-ellous

Last Monday the kindly postman delivered the amazing Sin City on dvd, before it had hit the floor it was playing! Since then I’ve watched it probably around 8 times including taking it around to friends and forcing them to watch it. This film has really blown me away, especially the story within the film based on Frank Millers book called ‘The hard goodbye’. This short story features Mickey Rourke playing Marv, a rough-and-tumble loser come bruiser. Marv gets lucky one night and ends up bedding a female goddess called Goldie played by the lovely Jaime King. Not being blessed with a comely appearance Marv thinks his luck has finally changed when Goldie falls into his arms, unfortunately things go wrong from that point onwards. I won’t detail anymore of what happens to Marv so as not to spoil it but the story is nice and simple and perhaps a little sad. Mickey Rourke acts out of his skin, I’ve read the comic book story and Rourke is so like Marv it’s uncanny. There’s a lot in Marv’s segment of the film I identify with, both from my own personal perspective and the male ego one.

Marv’s story aside, Sin City is a brooding noir ballet of bullets and scantily clad broads, in short, Sin City is my top film of the moment, I could even be bold and make a sweeping statement and say of all time. Sin city is a comic book pumped with steroids and unleashed onto the big screen with a cast of film gods and angels. It’s lurid, its sublime, its sardonic and perverse – a collection of class vignette’s where the rain always falls and the sun never rises. Sin City is a place where the characters are more crooked than the alleyways and the dame’s are dangerous, it’s a city of escapism, it’s a movie triumph. Mr Rodriguez I salute you. Did I gush enough?

Anyway I’m going shopping to Asda after work so I gotta back to reality and do my grocery list.

Censored

The company I work for has decided in their infinite wisdom to get the Matrix style Agent Smith boys in the I.T dept to crack down and censor what websites workers can access. Whilst I understand what they are trying to do I also things it’s damn petty too. Working shifts like I do the internet has been a saviour, it’s kept me ticking over and entertained in those dull moments when I can relax, surf, pay bills, read other blogs and look at pvc lingerie. Luckily I can still access my blog because the men in black suits (not pvc) in I.T don’t realise I know Neo and can still access the matrix! Makes you wonder though how much the corporate big brother is actually watching you. The next job I want is an ice cream man, because even if the van breaks down people will walk to it to buy ice creams – well that’s my theory anyway. So the picture above is dedicated to the guys in I.T !

Playstation

The Sony Playstation was 10 years old yesterday, I remember the excitement as it hit the shops all those years ago and the cramps in my stomach when I thought I may not get one. Since then the Playstation has sold into the millions, game titles number in the thousands and its become a household institution. Next year the must anticipated Playstation 3 hits the shelves and this month the sleek and very versatile Playstation portable arrived. Anyway here’s what some of the industry insiders had to say in a recent Guardian article:

Michael Hayes, chief executive, Sega Europe

Sony simply got the balance right between image, marketing and publishing. Nintendo and, to a lesser extent, Sega had built their empires on first-party profits. What Sony realised was that to support a large, mainstream base it needed to encourage third-party publishers, and it did so extremely well with access-all- areas support, marketing and good royalties.
They created a cachet for the brand without going over the top ... and remember, Sony was a broad consumer electronics badge: there was nothing of the geek about it.
Of course, since then others have learned the same tricks, and next time round Microsoft will give it a serious run for its money. But all things considered it has been a great decade to be a games publisher.

Rik Skews, production manager, Namco Europe

I was a freelance writer when someone came in with a Japanese PlayStation and a copy of Ridge Racer, and I remember being cynical that anyone could produce a great games machine from scratch. Don't forget, at the time, Macs and PCs were still streaming graphics off the CD - but with Ridge Racer you could take the CD out and still play it in real time. My jaw literally hit the desk.
The Sega Saturn was a great machine, but the PlayStation simply eclipsed it and the leap from 2D to 3D was exactly what consumers had been waiting for.

Roger Bennett, director general, Elspa

Before Playstation there was a lot of insecurity, in fact I remember Chris Deering [the soon-to-retire boss of Sony Europe] telling me he wasn't sure they'd be around in 18 months ... it's a different ballgame now. More than anything, Sony had fantastic brand awareness, they managed to make it both mainstream and niche - and it changed the market more than any of us expected.
Yes, there have been downsides; for independent developers, it's a lot more expensive to produce content - but those that succeed are growing faster, and without the PlayStation it's probably true to say we'd all be struggling now.

Kiss in London

Found this really cool Kiss photo on the net, must have been taken in the 70's in Westminster. Thought I'd share it with you, I'm sure Pat will like it.

Radical

I’d like to recommend a blog created by my esteemed work colleague created on the msn feature called ‘Spaces’. Although some of his views on reality tv are polar to my own it’s a very well set out blog and a worthy read. Though I find some of the content a tad radical concerning my beloved reality tv there’s some interesting ideas and comments on there that reinforce the fact blogs are fantastic forums. The subjects of my work colleague’s blog have certainly made for interesting conversation at work! Click the link below to take a look.

http://spaces.msn.com/members/thulsa/

Pinstriped and white

There’s something about women in pinstriped trousers suits that does it for me. I can’t explain why but a woman adorned in a pinstriped outfit turns me to jelly, maybe it’s the power thing or just something that strikes a chord with me. It the same with women with pure white hair that are in their late 30’s / early 40’s. The other day I saw a woman in I assume was her late 30’s with a lovely mane of flowing white semi curly hair, it almost stopped me in my tracks it looked that awesome.

Anyway I’d best get to work…

Rock School

Channel 4 will show the premiere episode of Rock School next Friday, Sept 30 at 9:00 pm. I’m told it’s similar to the film ‘School of Rock’ (I’ve not seen it) but with a reality tv twist. The most important thing about the show is that its fronted by one of my all time hero’s and gods of rock Gene Simmons of Kiss (pic above). Apparently this show has been aired in the States and VH1 and is now going to be shown on terrestrial telly – can’t wait.

The Raveonettes

I recently stumbled upon a fab cd in selectadisc in Nottingham, never heard anything by the The Raveonettes before but liked the cd cover so bought it – I’m fickle like that! Anyway, it turned out to be a real gem and I can’t stop playing it, the paragraph below is from their official website but explains their style better than I could. On listening to the first couple of tracks I was unsure then suddenly I was hooked when I heard the tracks ‘love in a trashcan’, ‘Sleepwalking’ and ‘Twilight’.

'Stylish, confident, and, frankly, slightly menacing, the Raveonettes--Sune Rose Wagner and Sharin Foo--made their mark on the emerging new garage-rock scene in 2002 with a flair for the dramatic. Their image was pure '50s retro-cool: lanky, dark-haired Sune and six-foot blonde glamazon Sharin wore black leather and sat astride motorbikes. The Danish duo doused their stripped-down songs about sex, suicide, and prostitution with noisy, fuzzed-out guitar, sweet boy-girl harmonies, and sleazy surf-punk twang. It sounded like a clash between Mods and Rockers if the brawl had taken place on the set of California beach movie.'

http://www.theraveonettes.com/

God among directors

Found a really interesting website singing the virtues of two of my fave directors, The legend that is Quentin Tarantino and someone who is just about his equal these days Robert Rodriguez. There's also sections for John Woo, Martin Scorsese and Kevin Smith.

http://www.godamongdirectors.com/index.shtml

As if by Magic

As a kid I always loved to watch Mr Benn, I was mesmerised by the cartoon and the adventures of the man in the bowler hat who resided at 52 Festive road. Each episode was essentially the same, Mr Benn would leave his house, see kids playing in the street, go to the costume shop and then ‘as if by magic’ the bespectacled shopkeeper would appear and help him choose an outfit. Then off Mr Benn went to the changing room and the adventures that awaited him. Costumes worn and adventures he got involved in included the red knight, cowboy, clown, spaceman and wizard to name a few.

The original series created by David McKee contained 13 episodes which were seemingly constantly repeated on BBC1 and 2 since first being screened in 1971. Odd that as a kid I must have seen it hundreds of times but Mr Benn never lost that magic, even though they numbered a scant few episodes. The bit I liked most was that there was always a memento of his adventure waiting for him when he got home or something in his suit pocket.

To my nostalgic joy Mr Benn is released on dvd next month with all 13 episodes and a recently filmed 14th episode – I can’t wait.

There a couple of good links below, the first one made me giggle as it introduces theories as to what Mr Benn was all about, there’s even a Freudian theory! The second link has some really cool retro wallpapers for your pc, including one of Mr Benn.

http://easyweb.easynet.co.uk/~stephenbalchin/mrbenn.html

http://www.tellytunes.com/wallpaper3.asp

One year old

I didn’t realise till I went into my blogger statistics that my blog is just over a year old, it’s passed so quick and been very enjoyable. It’s only fair that I give my fellow bloggers a mention, tell you a bit about them and their blogs as we’ve all been reading and commenting on each others blogs over the last year.

My blog isn’t really a blog that attracts a huge amount of traffic, its something personal that a few people read and remark upon. I’ve not really sought to go out there and lure people here, it’s my space and I’m indifferent if people read its content or not, ok I’m lying – please leave a comment!

In reading other peoples blog’s I’ve noticed they are all diverse and almost all are interesting to read to a degree, some are a source of news whilst others are personal journeys, most offer what we humans call ‘Inspiration’. The blogging world is a fantastical journey of information, expression, opinions, empathy, confessionals, self healing disclosures and lastly laughter.

Here are some blogs I read almost daily -

Pat's blog

Firstly it was my friend Pat that got me into Blogging, he kept mentioning his blog till I got nosey and enquired what a ‘blog’ was. In my blog infancy Pat was there to help out and also to dispense his cynical wisdom. Pats blog is eclectic, cynical, diverse, political and very witty. It’s a no frills blog with personal comments and current affairs criticisms with the odd review or revelation thrown in for good measure. Even though Pat gave me a helping hand in the early days with the odd bit of html he blatently nicked my 'daily quotes' idea. Check his blog out here.

Serendipity's blog

The next blog up is Serendipity. She’s a local girl that lives down the road from me and ironically we’ve never met. I stumbled upon her blog whilst browsing local blogs and her articulate style and comments caught my interest. Serendipity’s blog is one firmly based around therapeutic disclosure and personal events, it’s a journey of her feelings and experiences in day to day life. Sometimes its very noir, others it’s inspirational. Give it a read and click here.

Shep's blog

A blog I certainly must mention is ‘Shep’s’. I first started reading Shep’s blog through a link on Pat’s page and immediately warmed to it. It’s witty, fresh and different everyday – there’s always something new to read. There’s usually a post everyday, most posts are laced with brevity and wit. Some of his comments on my blog have had me grinning broadly and laughing out loud, especially his sardonic comment on my Beatles blog. Go and check Shep’s blog out here.

Em's Blog

Last up for a mention but certainly not least is ‘Em’s’ blog. If ever you need to know anything about London, she’s your girl. Some of her post’s feel and read like they’ve been lifted out of a London tour guide and are fascinating and insightful to read, very descriptive and detailed. Em’s isn’t a regular blogger but when she does a post on one of her journeys through the capital it’s always done with a real zest for the place. I’ve not got the heart to tell her that the capital is now Nottingham and not London !!! Take a read of Em’s blog here.

Ok for these favourable mentions send all cheques to hobbits-journal at ……

Tommy

I was channel hopping last night and kept going back to the ITV Avenue of Fame. I think it’s a great idea that we have our own walkway of British stars. I’m not so sure that Ant and Dec are stars yet though or deserve a star spot but I smiled broadly when I saw Tommy Cooper has his own star in the pavement, he’s always made me laugh so much and richly deserves to be on there. I only had to see Tommy and I giggle, even before he’s said anything. I’ll be sure to go and pay homage next time I’m in Covent Garden, anyway where’s my star?

Onwards - Upwards

Ok so it’s been a crappy year in most respects so far. Back in February I split with the girlfriend which wasn’t what I wanted. Then the psychotherapy diploma drained me mentally though I guess the end result was worth it. Then last week mum passed away.

The only way I can go really is up, I’m not the sort to wallow in self pity or depression, it’s just not me. I’m usually the happy go lucky sort full of optimism. So, from this point on it’s onwards and upwards.

Shine

Yesterday was mum’s funeral, it was a lovely sunny day, the tree’s swayed in tune with the gentle breeze and there was an air of peace about it all. The crematorium was full of family and friends, seeing so many people there for mum made me feel a proud son. The service wasn’t long, a few prayers and one of her favourite songs played in the middle for all of us to reflect on her life, I’d chosen a more modern service and dispensed with singing and traditional organist, after all it wasn’t about a protracted service with pomp - it was about her memory. The vicar did a sterling job on covering my mum’s life; she spoke with theatrics and passion but kept it simple, her words hung in the air evoking emotion in many. Gran stood beside me, my mum’s mother, it was a hard day for her and for this reason I resolved to be strong, when she broke down I supported her and clutched her trembling hand, it must have been so hard to see her daughter go before her but under the circumstances she was very brave.

As for me, I felt very detached from it all, I had a raging headache, made worse by the fact I had to concentrate on the days events, only when the curtain closed around the coffin I felt a surge of emotion and a couple of stray tears meandered down my pale cheeks but at last after a long week there was an air of closure about it all, it was mum’s day and her memory would shine as bright as the sun did.

Dad was there for me, even though he’s been divorced from mum for several years, he still came and his presence gave me strength.

I also want to thank ‘Cela’ for calling me just before I left for the service; your phone call meant a lot to me.

Thanks everyone too for your emails of support, blogging associates and friends alike.