Monday, October 31, 2011

Song Of The Month

Here's my song of the month, a very topical one at that. The song is 'Jesus was a zombie' by the amazing Zombie Girl !

Halloween Hobbit

It's only fair I should give you all a bit of a scare on Halloween !

Halloween Beers

Here are a selection of Halloween beers I've sampled over the weekend from the Wychwood brewery, I'd have to say Hobgoblin is my personal favourite though.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Jerry Sadowitz: A Tank Of Pirhana's !


On Friday I went to see comedian, magician and psychopath that is Jerry Sadowitz, I've seen him a few times so knew what to expect, it's fair to say I was looking forward to it immensely as I find the vitriolic Mr Sadowitz a bizarre form of catharsis. The venue was the Lincoln performing arts centre or the 'LPAC' as it's popularly known. So on arriving, my friends Luke, Ryan and myself were swiftly seated in the small venue and awaited the verbal onslaught of the very mad, bad and dangerous to know Sadowitz.

I'd say there were probably 50-60 or so people there, to be honest I was expecting more but then Lincoln is hardly a massive metropolis. Sadowitz soon entered the fray and was ranting at break neck speed, his rapacious way with words is quite staggering on the auditory senses. As he rapidly shifts through topics nothing is safe, he revels in disasters, he rants at other comedians in the spotlight, women, racism, Jews, paedophiles and immigrants are all fair game - and then he produces a fish tank full of piranha's! Not a real fish tank but as he points out fairly, how often do you see someone produce such a thing?

The audience apart from a few comedy aware stalwarts and my friends seem strangely muted, one couple ups and leaves 20 mins into the act, if they'd heard of him, done their homework or even read his tour poster then they should have been aware of the content that would be aggressively spat their way. Sadowitz is definitely for the broadminded, the very broadminded. He feeds on the fact he offends people, so anyone leaving is just adding to his fire of hatred burning within but as I've said in past blogs, people often miss some of his more clever observations.

There was some old material mixed with some new stuff, and the odd magic trick thrown in for good measure and when he can actually stop ranting. I did feel though that the venue wasn't suited to Jerry on the night, when I've seen him in Nottingham the atmosphere has been a lot better and now I've seen him several times I can see how audiences perhaps dictate things to some degree. I suspect a fair few didn't 'get' him in Lincoln and he picked up on it.

The first half closed and I could almost sense Sadowitz wanted to be somewhere else. We managed a swift beer before going back in for the second half. The latter stint contained more classic Sadowitz, we had some character stuff (which Luke liked as that's his thing), rants about the Chinese and a ten minute rant on tv and radio personality Jimmy Savile who bizarrely and more than a bit ironically died the next day! I wonder what Sadowitz thought to that and indeed what he said in his next show as Savile has long been a target of his hatred and jokes. Not long into the second act another couple left which we all thought was odd as by then they really should have known what was coming. Jerry ended the show fairly abruptly, I felt he'd hurried the second half somewhat as I've seen him much more relaxed at other venues in closing things. Quite amusingly on leaving I held the door open for a Chinese fella that had obviously sat through the anti Chinese rant and seemed unaffected by it.

We headed back into Lincoln for a beer and discussed what we'd witnessed, I'd certainly enjoyed Sadowitz as I always do, my friends made interesting observations on the performance as well. I certainly didn't think it was him at his best but he was by no means at his worst either but it wasn't vintage Sadowitz. He was probably more close to the bone and topical than I've ever actually seen him and this shows how observational he actually is and embraces current subjects albeit in his own twisted and evil way.

I'm tempted to go see him at Nottingham next month just to see what he says about Jimmy Savile but every time Jerry does come around I want to go and see him regardless as nobody makes me laugh like he does and I seriously think the man is a genius.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Beer & Me

From as far back as I can really remember, beer has always been a constant in my life, not the fact I've always drank it, just the fact it's always been in there in some form or another either in good ways or bad ways. My earliest memories are going down to the pub with my grandparents on my mothers side, they held forth in a pub down the road called the 'Brown Cow' in the town where I used to live. They used to babysit me at weekends so my parents could have some time on their own, my grandparents would take me along to the pub with them. It was never late night stuff and neither at that point in their lives did they consume large quantities of alcohol but they were hard working people that liked to socialise, smoke and have a beer. This would be back in the mid 1970s and I'd be about 7 years old for a rough guess.

It was at that tender age, sat in the passage way of the pub (as kids weren't allowed in the pub proper) that I caught my first glimpses of pub life and thus began unwittingly my education in the arts of being sociable and the myriad of skills that came with it. Peeking into the pub from the passageway I got to study adults imbibing beer and the resulting behaviour, I witnessed jest and heated debates, I soaked up many things. When the pub was quiet I was even let into the back room and had my own tiny glass that would have a drop of beer in it, I felt like an adult, and more importantly among the throng of people I felt accepted into group dynamics, that's what makes socialising an important thing I guess.

Years dropped off the calendar, my grandparents decamped to another nearby pub for some reason or another and of course they took me along. In summer my parents would take me to a pub called the Ravensdale and we'd sit outside as a family, usually with friends and I'd drink fizzy cola and eat too many packets of crisp than was probably wise. My parents never let me touch any beer really, that was mine and my grandparents little secret.

Early teenage years passed and I recall being indifferent about beer, there were more exciting things to do and it was the dawn of computers in the early 80s, this was the era I transcended into Geekdom! My dad did home brew from time to time and on occasion I'd be allowed a small glass and of course at weekends I'd be at my grandparents, though not as much and by this stage they often had a drink at home, of course I was in on the act.

Around this time I fell ill, I nearly lost my sight aged 12 and it was a very traumatic time for my parents. They were working class, dad worked shifts and my mum often travelled with me to hospitals whilst I had numerous operations to save my sight. I recall one time they were due to operate and needed her to sign forms but couldn't find her. A nurse told me she was in the hospital accommodation block, they could see her lay on the bed through the keyhole but even after hard knocking at the door couldn't rouse her. I had to sign the forms myself as I recall and then the operation took place, I had eye patches on and spent several days in darkness wondering if I'd be able to see the world again. Unbeknown to me, my mum had begun her descent into alcoholism and when the nurses had tried to wake her she'd actually been unconscious from drink, I never realised back then but I see it clearly now.

I recall going on weekend trips with my mum and gran and often my mum would remain in the hotel room in the evenings whilst me and gran would go and do something, again my mother would have passed out when we returned, usually to some strong bottle of spirits she had stashed away and consumed. At a young age I never really had any conception of being that drunk or what alcoholism was.

As the later teen years crept in and I left school, I'd try beer with friends, usually on parks or other secluded adult free places, I never really took to it, sure I felt a rebel doing it but I never drank that much that I got drunk, I just wasn't crazy about the taste, it was the same with cigarettes too. On reaching 17 I probably had the odd can of beer in the house with my dad, though he never drank much at all, mainly after work or at weekends, though on occasion he did make a very heady home brew that made you feel drunk after a pint, I remember the beer kit being called 'Blockbuster' and it was a totally leveller, a barley wine kind of beer but souped up, you knew you'd had it, and a headache would follow the next day. I still called in to see my grandparents at their local, I'd have the odd beer and we'd catch up on gossip, I loved to go and see them in the pub.

On reaching 18, my brother (not real brother but a boy my parents had informally adopted when I was 6 and he was 7) took me on my first night out on the town. He was a year older than me and I marvelled at his stories of night life and girls. I recall when we did weekends away with the charity my mother was involved with we'd share a room in the hotel with some older lads that would go out into places like Blackpool and return drunk wearing silly straw 'kiss me quick' hats singing songs by the Human League. On seeing what fun they had when we were say 15/16 we decided we'd have some of that when we reached 18. That time came and my brother took me out on my first night out. My first pint was 'Mansfield Mild' and was 68p, my brother deemed this was the safest introductory session beer for me to have. It didn't really matter, I got so drunk he carried me home and I was sick down his back, an old man gave us a handkerchief as I remember and my mother was fuming at him. I was beguiled by pretty girls, fashions, the music and the bright lights, it was infectious but the next day hangover ensured I didn't rush back to going out in a hurry. Of course I did go back out again and began to really enjoy it, I was a social creature after all. It was in these early years I learned the real art of socialising and of course chatting the opposite sex up with varying results ranging from disaster to the odd success. They were halcyon years filled with beer and laughter and lots of fun but also on occasion tinged with sadness as beer could make me emotional too, I was very naive then and still trying to come to terms with my place in the big wide world and work out who I really was or what I wanted. These were the 80s, the town where I lived seemed almost magical at weekends, they were good times indeed.

Holidays abroad came and went, so did girlfriends and many adventures were had. On the home front my mothers drinking had manifested itself more and my parents argued quite a lot, in some ways for them it was the beginning of the end as my mothers problem began to spiral out of control. It had a knock on effect and things could often be uncomfortable at home but come the weekend, and despite my brother and I being in fairly low paid jobs we'd escape to the bright lights in town every weekend to forget things I guess.

It was one cold rainy night, not long after splitting with a girlfriend that I returned once again to the Ravensdale pub as an adult this time, alone and feeling sad at my loss, I went to escape problems at home and drown my sorrows but the lesson is drinking never really solves anything. In a bizarre turn of events instead of sitting there staring into a pint and feeling bad I was welcome by the locals, in no time I was shooting pool with them and had made new friends, from that day on I became a regular there and so began the Ravensdale years. I went into town less and went to my new found local more (I still did town though). I made lots of new friends, some of them were legends and are no longer with us and some thankfully still are. I can't describe what an amazing social time it was, year filled with laughter, outings to other pubs with the pool team, after hours lock ins and general moments of pure unplanned hilarious chaos. When things became so bad at home I always had the Ravensdale pub and friends there as a retreat, and would often stay at friends houses after. I also worked at the towns brewery too, great working years and fond memories there but I was perhaps drinking more than was good for me, both at work, and out of it!

By this time my drinking was considerably more, I wouldn't say out of control by any means but I could certainly down a few pints. I was a character and never short of a joke or story but sometimes when things were bad at home beer and emotions weren't a good combination, there's times I deeply regret due to making silly mistakes through drinking beer. My parents divorced due to my mums alcoholism and both moved on with new partners, though my mums condition steadily got worse regardless. My brother and I moved out, I spent some time out of work which is just as well because if I'd had money then it would have been spent on beer. Eventually I went back to live with my mum after a really unhappy couple of years but by then she was really beyond help despite efforts to seek it.

The Ravensdale closed for a refurbishment on 13th May 2002, it was a sad day to an epic era and when it opened later that year it just didn't feel the same anymore and many of the locals moved on.

Years passed by, I had a stint in Hong Kong, holidays to Thailand etc and my eyes opened (perhaps too late) to a big wide world out there. I still loved socialising and often went out but I guess when my mother finally succumbed to her alcohol addiction and died it changed my perspective on alcohol somewhat and I think in some respects I passed my bell curve on drinking. My health began to fail dramatically at this time and moved to the town where I live now, underwent surgery and began to recover slowly.

Fate smiled upon me, at the top of the road I discovered a new local, the Fox & Crown and made a whole set of great new friends (that's not to say I forget the old friends and still miss them). So began a new love affair with the Fox & Crown, it's dangerously close to my place and many great nights have been had in there, as well as other locals nearby. I had my 40th birthday bash in the Fox & Crown and it was a memorable night with friends and family.

So, here we are in the present. To be honest though I still love to socialise though I'm pretty rubbish when it comes to drinking these days. I invariably suffer with hangovers the next day, and not good ones either, and the recovery time takes just too long. In my 20's I was never a great drinker, I probably peaked around 30 in the capacity I could take and then it all went downhill apart from odd nights thereafter. Last year on my friends stag night was one I recall drinking lots and handling it pretty well (though I was still very drunk!). Nowadays I drink less than I ever did and feel better for it. Beer is expensive now, it's not an easily social commodity it once was, pubs are dying a death as people buy copious amounts of beer from supermarkets very cheaply. The truth is, if takeaway beer was more expensive and beer in pubs was cheaper it would be regulated better, because people wouldn't drink silly amounts at home or on street corners. My own local seemingly has gone into decline of late, there seems less people in there than ever. I could say this is endemic of the town but some pubs seem to be flourishing whilst other fall by the wayside. I'm not sure what the problem is at my local, it feels tired in there of late, despite recent efforts there's certainly some apathy in there on the management part and I suspect the senior management are blissfully unaware that the pub as a whole needs changes in order to move forward.

I guess these days with what I do I see first hand the detrimental effects of what alcohol can do and it's not pretty, although that would never influence the fact I love to socialise it is a great leveller in many ways. I'm never going to stop socialising or enjoying a drink but these days apart from the odd blow out I'm guessing moderation is the way forward for me personally. The good old days of pubs may be passing by and the new era of pubs seem uncertain, many breweries have closed and the new super breweries have no character, it's all geared to evident profits now, perhaps it always was but never so apparently as it is nowadays.

I'll always be partial to a good beer but in the here and now it will never be a constant as it perhaps once was.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Scotland Alone?

Alex Salmond the first Scottish minister and leader of the SNP keeps banging on about Scottish independence in the news. Whilst I admire his patriotism I can also see his evident stupidity. Both our countries have been intertwined for hundreds of years now both culturally and financially and whilst I respect the Scot's for being a traditional folk, probably more so than us English my feeling is they'd have a hard time on their own. Mr Salmond bangs the patriotic drum about power being at Westminster but as we all know Scotland makes many decisions alone and has its own parliament. Whilst he points to the fact we are cutting Scottish spending and creaming north sea oil revenue he negates such facts as massive benefit and health subsidies for Scotland that they receive.

If Scotland went solo it'd soon feel the pinch, you don't have to be a wizard to do the maths, less people thus less tax and a whole myriad of other problems they'd come up against not being in a union. Personally I'm indifferent, if Scotland went it alone I'm sure the government would have less to worry about and more money to hand. Most people see Scotland as some picture postcard country with idyllic vistas and quaint villages, well let me tell you I've seen some parts of Glasgow that I'd never want to see again for health and personal safety reasons. On visiting my ex girlfriends village a few years back I'd not want to ever go there again, kids riding around on roofs of cars and rampant alcoholism, Scotland like anywhere else is not without it's own problems.

I like the Scots, in my experience they are warm genuine and very proud people but they are part of this island too and I genuinely think our futures lay together for obvious mutual benefit.

Africa

I seriously can't think of any reasons why I would want to visit the continent of Africa although at a push if I was in Spain I'd do a day trip to Morocco to say I'd been, that's it, and then at a push if at all.

Where do I start with this one? Well every time I look at the news it ain't good about Africa. Tourists kidnapped regularly, Somali pirates, bogus emails from alleged Nigerian businessmen, famine, civil war, mass rape, drought, lawless, disease, religion, gun crime and the list could go on. Whilst I have to acknowledge its the cradle of mankind's evolution and has some genuine wonders and places of amazing beauty it's really not on my to do list.

Books have been written describing Africa as a future Mad Max-esque wasteland and it seriously wouldn't surprise me if it becomes that in the not too distant future.

In some areas of Africa it seems like every second person is a christian pastor of some kind. They revel in old witch craft traditions combined with christianity and persecute gay people or non conformists - it almost sounds like England in the middle ages.

The recent Libya conflict is now resolved but will it all end quietly, I mean they can't even decide on how to bury Gaddafi's body, so how are they going to agree on running a new state? There's still unrest in Egypt and Algeria according to news reports. My guess is the west will of course try to set up lucrative oil contracts with Libya with generous payments for those that facilitate it. China is already colonizing large tracts of Africa for industrial exploitation. They may be building infrastructure but this is at small cost considering the current massive untapped resources and local cheap labour. What will happen when it all runs out I wonder?

I have a friend from South Africa, an elderly woman that does my clothes alterations on occasion, she moved from the country a few years ago citing the growing crime rate as being a major incentive.

You have all these countries within Africa that have received billions in aid during famine yet guess what? Yep it's still happening because all they do is sit around and procreate all day but then again the catholic church tells them not to use condoms in some countries. As the worlds population reaches a landmark 7 Billion Africans keep making babies despite being in poverty.

I could type on and on about Africa but I'm sure you get the message, some may find it distasteful, offensive and wrong but you cannot deny my very valid points. I'd like to be optimistic about the place but I can't.

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Cult Of Celebrity

Every time you switch your Tv on these days there is a reality show on, its nothing new, we seemed to have embraced reality programmes with a passion over the last decade or so. I can't deny that I've watched reality shows and enjoyed them in the past but these days I think they are cliché to the extreme. The current crop of shows gracing our screens at the moment has contorted the word 'celebrity', it has changed the meaning to 'someone that may have been on a programme once in the past'. Of course real stars avoid celebrity programmes like the plague, why tarnish a good career? It's the desperado's that we are left with, the ones that will do anything for exposure that could lead to other things or bring a few quid in. Then of course we have to address the fact they are clearly deluded and their overblown self belief is evident.

What I find amusing on celebrity programmes these days, such as celeb big brother or celeb coach trip et al is when the celebs first meet they regularly don't even know who the other is! The reason generally being for that is that they really aren't well known at all. There seems to be a collision on such programmes of celebs that have crashed and burned such as Michael Barrymore meeting celebs (I use the word loosely here) who have been on some minor cable channel decorating rooms or something.

It seems all you have to do these days is appear on a reality tv programme, albeit even once and you have transcended normal everyday life and are now a celebrity. An article that recently amused me was two X-Factor contestants called '2 Shoes' (yes from Essex, where else!) announced after being booted out of the show on the first week that they wanted to do their own chat show. Here lies the problem with the whole cult of celebrity these days, in the fact after minimum exposure people assume they've hit the big time and deserve something without any effort at all. The tragedy is that the world of minor celebrity is a cut-throat one, they have to hustle for such shows to pay their way, however demeaning they might be or you swiftly fall from grace and into debt, I quote Jade Goody for instance who died leaving sizeable debts and other celebs such as the loathsome Kerry Katona that has reported of being in considerable debt before.

What we seem to have these days is the regular circuit celebs, looking at the current crop of celeb programmes it seems to be the ones that have been on Big Brother in the past or as I stated above are fallen stars or minor channel wannabe's.

I guess in the past I used to enjoy such shows to a degree, I never took them seriously they were just something I watched whimsically. I guess the likes of Big Brother started out as something experimental and new but rapidly declined into the same old crap year in, year out. The by-product being people that probably enjoy a 5 mins of fame before lapsing into the unknown abyss and then being unable to come to terms with it.

The bad news is though the media will keep churning it out and of course there is a market for it on tv and the tabloids which is probably the reason I don't read such newspapers any more or watch that much television, unless I want to vent my spleen at such drivel for therapy.

Friday, October 07, 2011

Jobs

I'm not really an Apple person but nobody can deny the passing of Steve Jobs of Apple is a loss to the technology industry, particularly as he was one if its great pioneers. I first came into contact with an Apple computer on leaving school when I got to use an Apple Lisa computer where I once worked and it was ahead of its time. I also used to read the gaming/computer press back then and look in envy at some of the Apple games. I'm not really into the latest Apple stuff but I see how visionary some of it is and of course Steve Jobs is responsible for some of that.

This video clip of him talking about life and death is particularly inspirational.