Monday, December 06, 2004

Fuzzy face

I didn’t really want to talk ‘shop’ in my blog but work is a part of life we have to address at some point, like every day! As I plan to escape my current line of work I’m not really too fussed about the fate of the company I work at, though I wouldn’t want anyone to lose their job. The atmosphere of late has been of doom and gloom as we’ve lost some major contracts but we have a saviour and he’s called ‘Fuzzy Face’.

Fuzzy face is self styled cockney geezer come wide boy approaching 50 something, he has a neatly trimmed beard (never trust men with beards) and is usually caparisoned in a silver suit. He tries unconvincingly to tell you in his broad London accent that he’s embraced Yorkshire as his new home and now he’s in fact a ‘Yorkshire man’. To save us all from certain doom he’s introducing a bonus scheme to the office so we can earn more but he hasn’t really told us of the catches yet. I sat with him as he showed me his new ideas on figures on his lap top but all he kept doing was licking his lips a lot and saying ‘yeah’ a lot as if he demanded you agree with him – of course I didn’t and in true managerial fashion he didn’t listen to my rational objections either. Then later I found out that Fuzzy Face had told a ‘would be’ client to go away because they seemed to be dragging their heels over contractual matters - pop went another contract. His bonus scheme smacks of some Thatcherite plan (and we all remember the poll tax don’t we?) and I think it will fail shortly after it is implemented, mainly due to mass apathy in the office – all we wanted was a normal pay rise! So time will tell about the fate of where I work, I sincerely hope we get through this lean time. Call me a cynic but Fuzzy Face keeps telling us the bonus scheme is too good to be true and when someone tells you that, well…

I would just like to say no cockneys were harmed in the making of this blog

Cockney Definition;

1. Non standard dialect of natives of the east end of London
2. adj. Relating to or resembling a cockney; "cockney street urchins"

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