Friday, February 03, 2012

Feeling Let Down

Usually I'm a happy hobbit, carefree and jovial but the new year hasn't started according to plan. Most of January I've had a stomach complaint, as yet to be fully determined. At first it was thought to be stomach acid but the tablets the doctor gave me just made things more erratic, the best way to describe it is like a latent dull stomach and should it not clear soon I'll be back to the doctors to investigate more.

I've managed to avoid beer for most of January and would like to say I've felt better for it but with the dodgy stomach I can't really say that with conviction, the ironic thing is that my stomach is usually the least problematic bodily thing I have (apart from it could be smaller!)

Another thing that made January end on a sour note was being let down by a friend. I'll try and condense things to make it shorter but basically last year I asked a friend to go see a band we both like, at the time he was just in a new job and wasn't financially up and running, so after some deliberation about it, he said no. Last month I noticed the same band were back, in London at the end of February at an ideal venue. I did the maths and realised it wouldn't be too expensive and decided to pitch my idea to him once again, bearing in mind the said band tour very little here. It was received well and he said his girlfriend would probably come too, no problem, it was all good. Days dropped off the calendar and I tried to chase him via text, a mixture of responses came back but all initially favourable, he might drive down etc and in turn I'd said I'd help towards that. More days passed and the gaps between text widened, inside I resigned myself to the fact he'd changed his mind, the thing was I needed an answer, firstly as I really wanted to go with him as he likes the band, and he's a good friend, secondly if he let me down I could explore other options.

On Sunday I got a late text, saying much as before, he couldn't warrant the expense etc, it felt like a groundhog experience of sorts, though his decision had taken eight days to make. To be bluntly honest I felt let down, massively so in fact, almost like he couldn't be arsed. I'm not going to bad mouth the guy, he's a smashing fella and infectious company. The thing is, I know he is planning to go on holiday, so I feel he should have made his decision about the gig earlier and put me in the picture, surely he knows, like most do where his finances are at. I just felt strung along really, as I'm very much a black and white guy when it comes to many things in life. So now I am left scrambling to sort something after this delay and probably nothing will happen. Finances aren't great for me at the moment but for this I would have pushed the boat out a little, life without risks is boring after all. The irony is, if Glastonbury tickets suddenly appeared for next year he'd book without hesitation.

So it's into February not feeling at my best, hopefully the therapy of disclosure by writing about things on here may help get it off my chest. I'm not going to fall out with my friend over it, I'm far too long in the tooth for that, and all said and done he's a good person but neither am I really happy, it'll pass and the band will probably come around again if I don't see them this time.

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