Friday, May 14, 2010

A Bit Of Self Realisation

As week's go, this one hasn't been easy. On reflection though, lessons have been learned, perhaps ones that needed to be learned too. My first accident in the car, my beloved 'Nell' has woke me up to the fact I have been to complacent, too cavalier in my driving of late. The fact is I have improved as a driver, and in instances when I have my old man in the car beside me I want to demonstrate that but ... there is a point where confidence crosses into folly.

Fortunately the accident was no big deal, very minor cosmetic damage to both cars. I'm not sure who was at real fault but it brought it home to me just because I am in familiar territory it doesn't mean I should let my guard down. What surprised me was how calm I was, how I dealt with it. I was more concerned initially about the other guy where I guess back in the day I would have been ready to wage war for far, far less. I'm a lot more measured these days, I don't anger easy like I did in my confused youth.

However after I decided to take a more business like approach to insurance and things but not after first being reasonable, as I write this blog I hope I am not tempting fate by saying nothing seems to have happened, both myself and the other party involved seem to have resigned ourselves to the fact if was no big deal and have rectified our own damages.

The following morning my fridge died, almost as if to throw karma in my face for later taking a defensive stance with my insurance just in case I was about to be shafted for such a petty incident. Then yesterday I thought my washer had died on me as well, fortunately it hasn't and it seemed to be fine this morning, yesterday probably being down to me overloading the washing machine drum on one side with a pillow.

The selfish fact this week was I was worried about money, it was the factor in all my thoughts, the notion that if the other guy decides to try and take me to the cleaners with my insurance I'd lose my no claims bonus for what was basically a scuffed bumper for him. As I'd bought a new sofa that day that added to my financial concern not to mention the need for a new fridge. On top of all that June looks set to be a busy month, weddings, Gary is back from Hong Kong and a plethora of other social engagements and activities.

Last night I went to play the board game 'Risk' with some friends as we usually do of a Thursday evening. I wasn't going to go, so despondent did I feel when I thought the washer had given up on me that I suspect I'd be bad company, however I really did need to escape the confines of my flat. I'm glad I do go, the company was as always excellent and Billy's theatrics , voices and prose made me smile again.

So on to the real message of this blog and why I felt compelled to type it. Tonight I watched 'How to live a simple life' (Friday BBC2 9pm) with Peter Owen Jones. I think he did something called around the world in 80 faiths some time ago, basically Peter is a parish vicar on the south coast. Firstly I have to say I am a secular humanist and not a man of faith but Peter isn't a man that constantly rams home the holy message, far from it, he's quite the humanist in his ideals. The program was basically about Peter walking 200 odd miles from Sussex to Devon living in the footsteps of St Francis, carrying no money and begging for food and shelter to complete strangers. It was a compelling piece of television and I felt humbled as I watched Peter on his arduous journey, all he had to rely on was the generosity and selflessness of others.

It hit home to me about how during this week how much I have thought and worried about money and how important it is to have friends and loved ones that give their help without question. I'm not sure I would want to embark on an adventure such as Peters but I wish I could have an adventure or road trip of sorts to give me that fire back. I seem to be lacking zest and enthusiasm for life of late. I've learned a bit about myself this week, some good, some bad and some being the odd bit of self revelation.

No comments: