Lack Of Motivation

I've been melancholy and de-motivated of late. I think the passing of my gran has had bigger effect than I though but it's over now and I'm moving on in my usual matter of fact kind of way. The fact is that people do come and go through life, be it family or friends. I'm just at that age where the balance has tipped and more people have passed away than are here. Death isn't something that scares me purely for the fact I can't do anything about it but I can't help feeling sad that each new loss hurts just that bit more.

I guess I feel somewhat at a crossroads right now, people seem to be coming and going and life and the big wide world stops neither for man nor beast. I just commented to a friend that 'People come and go like the tide ebbs and flows' and moving death to one side for a minute that's how life is, people enter your life for certain portions then move on, or you do of course. Let's not be negative here as there's always friends that are constants throughout. Locally I think the dynamics have changed, especially socially. Some people are settling down, some are moving on to new places and the wheel of life turns over on. Changes never really bother me too much, I'm adaptable, I have a good core of friends and new friends can always be made. I think the problem with me is that I have become complacent and I've been in a comfort bubble of sorts. Now I realise that changes do need to be made and that I need to vary my routine or places I hangout. This weekend just gone I deliberately avoided my local and visited other bars in town, I broke my usual mould so to speak and enjoyed it, new people and faces are always good. I had a very frank chat with the guy I was out drinking with and I think that helped immensely, the power of communication is always a great therapy I find.

Now that I've had this period of feeling de-motivated I need to stride into future months with more purpose, I've yet to begin my new blog platform but on the upside ideas have been gathering and I've made some notes already for it. There's other things I need to do also, some being mundane things like sorting my cd collection out into alphabetical order, clearing out some of my old gaming consoles and finishing some writing projects. I'm sure they'll all get done when the my usual motivation picks up.