Crazy but true

Well, a phone ring tone makes number one in the charts!

This blog is a little gloat in the direction of my good friend and blog associate Pat, who I’m sure is really a closet fan of crazy frog (I told you it would get there!). The thing is in all honesty, there have been worse conventional number ones than this infectious, catchy but equally irritating track.

Nostalgia

Some years ago when I was naïve in the ways of music, I lived with my parents with my collection of vinyl albums, cheesy pop posters and an attitude. A neighbour gave me a Jethro Tull album to audibly peruse. I wasn’t really that fussed but ended up giving it a spin and loving it. Soon after he asked me to go and see Jethro Tull with him at Manchester Apollo. Along we went and I sat there not knowing really what to expect, I think I was still a teenager at the time. Someone came on and announced that the support band had failed to show or could not play for some reason and that Jethro Tull were going to play a longer slot. Indeed they did and played for over 3 hours. So, I was invested into the legend of Tull and have since been a life long fan. I sat in awe as the lead singer Ian Anderson stood for ages balanced on one foot playing a flute, its lively sounds weaving in and out of carefully crafted guitar riffs. I recall 3 hippies sat on the row before me smoking something that drifted back towards my innocent nostrils and had an obvious effect. Tull played their hearts out; there were no fancy fireworks or lighting – just solid music.

Yesterday the postman delivered a live double cd of theirs called ‘Bursting Out’ I’d ordered over the net and all the nostalgic memories came flooding back as I gave it a spin and recalled that marvellous night back in the early 80’s and the best band I’ve ever seen live.

Big Bro is back !

It’s back, the daddy of reality tv shows. I sat and watched the new victims go in one by one and this year I didn’t sit back and get all judgemental as they entered. Lets face it, they probably do represent a good cross section of people from our diverse and eccentric culture and anyway – what is normal these days??
Oddly and a bit disturbing is the amount of people in the house from London, four out of the first five were actually from London, surely all wacko’s don’t reside in the capital? However I do quite like this years housemates and I think Endemol have done well to select such an oddball bunch with the potential to clash. I think my two faves at the moment are Makosi and Mary purely for eye candy value and the fact they aren’t really bimbo’s. jeez I’m such a ……

http://www.channel4.com/bigbrother/

Vegas

Johhny Vegas in ‘18 stone of idiot’ had me laughing my pants off Friday night 10.15pm after Big Brother. Vegas seemed to have had a pot or two before the show and fired up to entertain. Usually I can take or leave Vegas and in some other things of late he hasn’t been allowed to shine so it should be interesting to see how he fares in his own show with a live audience. He certainly had be in hysterics with his crude humour and riotous shenanigans especially when he jumped over Ray Winstone on a bike and plunged into a crash mat only to rise to the strains of ‘I could be so good for you’. It was television without rules and I loved it. I can’t wait to see how the ‘Celebrity lock in’ will unfold. Do yourself a favour and tune in for a large slab of Mr Vegas!

Sympathy card

After my college night class I was munching on a sandwich and channel hopping whilst deciding on having a peek at just how bad ‘Celebrity Island’ was bombing on ITV. It seemed the celeb’s were lounging in the sun and drinking copious amounts of vino destructo and Paul Danan was pretty shit faced on it and turning into a very sad sight as he began arguing with the others. Soon after he was told to cool it and sort himself out he said ‘You’re only picking on me because I’m small’.

Now statements like this really piss me off, probably because I’m vertically challenged myself and don’t like to hear all that self pity crap. Psychologists call little guys getting aggressive the ‘Napoleon syndrome’, the media have termed it in less flattering terminology but the thing is (and I can’t deny it) that it does exist … especially after a few beers. I guess as we are all shapes and sizes there is always somebody bigger or smaller than ourselves. If we floor someone bigger than ourselves we are heroes, if they floor us they are villains and bullies. It’s amazing how we all use our physical features to either promote or demote ourselves when the situation arises; either to generate sympathy, compliments or make lame excuses, the list goes on.

The thing is you very rarely hear actual disabled people moan about their genuine disabilities and restrictions, they strive to be accepted and work very hard and don’t play the sympathy card so readily as us able bodied clowns do, maybe we should consider that next time we moan about our less flattering attributes.

Orville Snorville

With celebrity love islands figures dropping a whopping 6 million to just over a million it’s a good job we’ve got ‘The Farm’ on channel 5 to keep the reality tv boat afloat. Last night having been forced to sleep in a barn for 24 hours Lionel, fireman ‘nobody’ Dave and the hyper Flavor Flav got revenge by having a chance to vote for someone of their choice and be excluded from the vote them selves. Admirably they picked ex depressive and geriatric puppet wielding Keith Harris who is surely not hoodwinking viewers with his ‘Mr Nice Guy act’. Then the psychology kicked in as Flavor Flav was the sacrificial lamb to break the news to the rest, a point to note was the villainous Lionel Blair and Fireman Dave shrinking into the shadows. Later in the farm yard both Lionel and Fireman Dave added fuel to the fire by trying to distance themselves from each other whilst gossiping about all and sundry and fanning flames of discontentment amongst the group. If was Fireman nobody, the squealer of his ex to the tabloid press that was keen to incite the others with his elaborations – once a snitch always a snitch and it’s evident Fireman (hang on – partially trained fireman) craves some sort of place in the celeb pathos. Later Keith nominated Charlene (ah my beloved) to join him in the public nominations – surely he has made a clinical error as Mr Irritating Harris and the pouting Orville will soon exit stage left – I implore you to vote him! (if you don't I'll send him around to your house to do a private performance!)

The day has come

Yep, 19th May - Revenge of the Sith at the cinema. I'm going to see it Sunday and will be divulging my hobbit/yoda wisdom on it shortly after - the word 'excited' is an understatement! Went to see 'Kingdom of Heaven' last night and I thought it was ok but I kept reflecting back to the trailer of 'Sin City' before hand, looks very tasty!

Soured

Celebrity love island just does not work for me, sure I love my celeb's and reality tv but this show sucks. Twelve already spoilt ‘B’ list celebs being pampered on an island in Fiji set in opulent surroundings and sprinkled with decadence is going a bit far. Why couldn’t they have just sent members of the public, normal overweight, ginger haired, bespectacled, neurotic and flat broke people to this island? Would have been far more fun and far less predictable. Of course the celeb’s will no doubt be looking to promote themselves to the full whilst protecting their image, the whole thing reeks of shallow and false. Paul Dannan (who?) commented about the press and media to Abi Titmuss quoting something along the lines of them being intrusive and always wanting to expose them etc. Hang on a minute Paul – aren’t you in the media spotlight with this tatty show??? Lets face it without the press, media and the endless stream of gossip mag’s these celebs wouldn’t be that much anyway, some are already little known outside of their trendy London club and wine bar circuit anyway. This show has definitely soured my taste for reality tv – still, at least we have channel 5’s class show ‘The Farm’.

Bad News yet Good News

The good news is that the acclaimed BBc2 series from the 80's 'The comic strip presents' is coming out on dvd !!! The release date is 04/07/2005 and the box set of dvd's contains no less than 39 episodes spread over 9 disc's! Play.com are selling it for £34.99. I can't wait to see the 'Bad News' episodes again. Apart from the 'Young Ones' this is Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson at their best, not forgetting French and Saunders and the enigmatic Alexei Sayle. I'm also a fan of Peter Richardson and Nigel Planer and the series has guest appearences from Robbie Coltrane, Emma Thompson and Keith Allen among others.

www.play.com

Vic and Bob

It's nice to see Vic and Bob back on tv, BBc2, 10pm 'Vic and Bob in Catterick'. I never tire of their offbeat and surreal humour, to me they are still as iconic in British comedy as they ever have been.

http://www.vicandbob.net/
http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/shootingstars/

Charlene

YAY - Charlene made it and escaped the public vote on The Farm !!!

Here's a photo for all the males out there... and any inclined females!

Funny Farm

The farm continues to grow on me and tonight it’s the first eviction, the contenders being 54 year old babe and ex porn star Cicciolina who was nominated by housemates and then had to pick someone to go up against her in the public vote – to my horror she chose ex Dallas star Charlene Tilton. I like both women but Charlene has to be my fave, the pint size hobbitesque (ooh invented a new word there!) cutie MUST stay. Cicciolina looks stunning for her age but so far she’s seemed a bit detached from things, at least Charlene let Ron Jeremy give her a bottom massage the other day! Flavor Flav was on form last night, he was talking about gays and when Emma B enquired what he thought about two women together he replied ‘I’m all for that shit !!!’

http://www.five.tv/accessibility/programmes/thefarm/home/