Friday, December 30, 2011

So That Was 2011

The only real thing I can say about 2011 is that not much really happened, it was just a steady year in which I generally kept my head down and got on with life. Of course like any year there have been highs and lows but its not been a bad year all said and done, though it could have been much better too but much of that is down to me and what I made of it.

I think it was the year I discovered more about who I really am, explored the inner me and contemplated quite a bit. It was the year I came to terms with aspects of the past and made decisions about the future. In the early part of the year I found myself crossing swords with people yet building stronger friendships with some of those people in the process. I had to fight my corner several times regarding all sorts of things in the first half of the year and no doubt the coming year will offer challenges, such is life.

My dear Grandmother passed away and it was a heavy blow indeed, in some respects more so than my mother, I know that may sound strange to some but my Grandmother was a kindly soul who never judged me, she was very precious to me and her passing left a void within. She lived to be a respectable age and despite her diminutive stature was one of life's hard working fighters, a truly remarkable woman. Her funeral was a sad and rainy affair but it made me think I should try and forge stronger family links with some and totally forget others, I'm not family orientated but some of my family are nice people, others I don't really care for and can forget about now.

2011 was the year I read more books than ever really, mostly humanism and philosophy and the odd bit of fiction. I also started writing some long term fiction that I hope to carry on with this coming year. The knowledge gained from reading will be of valuable use in the coming year as I intend to become more involved in secular humanism movement and atheism. The recent passing of author and journalist Christopher Hitchens has spurred me on even more and given me renewed purpose.

Romance? 2011 will be probably remembered as the year romance went on strike! There were a couple of interludes, one person I was very fond of and was having lots of fun with but she stepped back, seemingly unsure, nothing was resolved and I do feel quite sad about it if I am being honest. Maybe 2012 will bring involvement my way, just as I am happy alone I sometimes feel that I should be looking more, after all who wants to grow old alone? Romance is a desire but not a necessity, I'm not superstitious but as regards love I shall sail the winds of fate and see where they put me ashore.

Much of this year I pondered, watched and philosophised as the world spun by. I went to London alone and had a fantastic day just shopping around Camden, eating, drinking and people watching, it didn't bother me that I just had myself for company where once it would have. I'm rarely bereft of confidence these days but I still have occasions where it abandons me. Later in the year I went to London with a friend and had a fab time over a couple of days which involved exploring, laughing and meeting other friends, it was a really good catharsis after months of not much happening.

Friends have come and gone this year, as in the fact some have left where I live or settled down, the social dynamic has changed quite a lot but thankfully contact has always been maintained. There's been much baby talk among friends this year, it does get a bit exhausting when you have no interest in having them, that said, my attitude towards that subject has softened. Gary my friend in China has a lovely kid whose antics and developments interest me and some friends locally are expecting a child in May next year, listening to them and knowing them I have no doubt at all they will make fantastic parents.

I've spent a lot of time online gaming this year and it's only fair that I must say that I've met some amazing people world wide, it's been great for discovering other cultural differences and quirks. New Zealanders, Americans, Germans and a certain crazy Dutchman spring to mind, as well as genuinely nice people here in the UK. Long may it continue.

Pain has been a constant companion this year, I suffer with a rare condition that I generally don't talk about but have learned to live with. There have been some days that music, painkillers and coffee have dragged me through but there are still battles to be had. Light of sorts may be at the end of the tunnel though. I'm coping better than ever with pain and plan to resolve some things next year, so hopefully a better future.

So as 2011 staggers to a close I feel a better person than ever, like all of you reading I have hopes, dreams and aspirations - let's hope its a good year for us all, to all that read my blog, a hearty hobbit thank you and all the best for 2012.

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