So That Was 2011

The only real thing I can say about 2011 is that not much really happened, it was just a steady year in which I generally kept my head down and got on with life. Of course like any year there have been highs and lows but its not been a bad year all said and done, though it could have been much better too but much of that is down to me and what I made of it.

I think it was the year I discovered more about who I really am, explored the inner me and contemplated quite a bit. It was the year I came to terms with aspects of the past and made decisions about the future. In the early part of the year I found myself crossing swords with people yet building stronger friendships with some of those people in the process. I had to fight my corner several times regarding all sorts of things in the first half of the year and no doubt the coming year will offer challenges, such is life.

My dear Grandmother passed away and it was a heavy blow indeed, in some respects more so than my mother, I know that may sound strange to some but my Grandmother was a kindly soul who never judged me, she was very precious to me and her passing left a void within. She lived to be a respectable age and despite her diminutive stature was one of life's hard working fighters, a truly remarkable woman. Her funeral was a sad and rainy affair but it made me think I should try and forge stronger family links with some and totally forget others, I'm not family orientated but some of my family are nice people, others I don't really care for and can forget about now.

2011 was the year I read more books than ever really, mostly humanism and philosophy and the odd bit of fiction. I also started writing some long term fiction that I hope to carry on with this coming year. The knowledge gained from reading will be of valuable use in the coming year as I intend to become more involved in secular humanism movement and atheism. The recent passing of author and journalist Christopher Hitchens has spurred me on even more and given me renewed purpose.

Romance? 2011 will be probably remembered as the year romance went on strike! There were a couple of interludes, one person I was very fond of and was having lots of fun with but she stepped back, seemingly unsure, nothing was resolved and I do feel quite sad about it if I am being honest. Maybe 2012 will bring involvement my way, just as I am happy alone I sometimes feel that I should be looking more, after all who wants to grow old alone? Romance is a desire but not a necessity, I'm not superstitious but as regards love I shall sail the winds of fate and see where they put me ashore.

Much of this year I pondered, watched and philosophised as the world spun by. I went to London alone and had a fantastic day just shopping around Camden, eating, drinking and people watching, it didn't bother me that I just had myself for company where once it would have. I'm rarely bereft of confidence these days but I still have occasions where it abandons me. Later in the year I went to London with a friend and had a fab time over a couple of days which involved exploring, laughing and meeting other friends, it was a really good catharsis after months of not much happening.

Friends have come and gone this year, as in the fact some have left where I live or settled down, the social dynamic has changed quite a lot but thankfully contact has always been maintained. There's been much baby talk among friends this year, it does get a bit exhausting when you have no interest in having them, that said, my attitude towards that subject has softened. Gary my friend in China has a lovely kid whose antics and developments interest me and some friends locally are expecting a child in May next year, listening to them and knowing them I have no doubt at all they will make fantastic parents.

I've spent a lot of time online gaming this year and it's only fair that I must say that I've met some amazing people world wide, it's been great for discovering other cultural differences and quirks. New Zealanders, Americans, Germans and a certain crazy Dutchman spring to mind, as well as genuinely nice people here in the UK. Long may it continue.

Pain has been a constant companion this year, I suffer with a rare condition that I generally don't talk about but have learned to live with. There have been some days that music, painkillers and coffee have dragged me through but there are still battles to be had. Light of sorts may be at the end of the tunnel though. I'm coping better than ever with pain and plan to resolve some things next year, so hopefully a better future.

So as 2011 staggers to a close I feel a better person than ever, like all of you reading I have hopes, dreams and aspirations - let's hope its a good year for us all, to all that read my blog, a hearty hobbit thank you and all the best for 2012.

Have A Good Holiday !

As regular readers will not I'm not the Christmas type, being a rabid atheist and all that, but regardless, I wish all to have a good time over the holiday period, as you can see from the photo below, I was last night!

The Hobbit Teaser Trailer Arrives

So here it is, after a few production video blogs from Peter Jackson we now have the teaser trailer to 'The Hobbit - An Unexpected Journey'.

I watched it this morning at around 6:30am, I was tempted to wait up for it last night but though ostensibly I may seem a bit sycophantic about it I do need my sleep and sleep makes things pass quicker. Come the morning the PC was switched on immediately and ablutions out of the way I googled it, found it and watched it several times as I came around fully with a steaming cup of earl grey tea.

I thought it was fairly long for a teaser trailer, though I'm pretty sure the first 20 seconds is actually old footage from the Lord of the Rings trilogy that maybe wasn't used. So what do we see? Well, I little intro of how Bilbo Baggins actually is, and it made me smile, especially the 'I'm a Baggin's of Bag End' bit with a dismissive wave of the finger against any suggestion of adventure. I must say Martin Freeman looks awesome as Bilbo. We then get a tiny glimpse of all the dwarven characters before Thorin Oakenshield begins to sing some kind of gloomy monastic type dirge of the their heritage and past (see I knew that just from the words of the song *wink*).

The some great music cuts in and we get the briefest flashes of what is in store in the first of the two movies, no trace of the dragon 'Smaug' though which surprised me, I'm sure that'll come in time or later trailers though. The only irony for me is that I feel the trailer has come a little too early to be honest, yes it's great to see it but I could have waited, April time would have been better I think, less waiting as we practically still have a whole year to go still.

To conclude, well what I saw I really liked, it wasn't kind of 'in your face leaving you shocked feeling' that I had, just a nod and smile of approval that the characters seem right and a reassuringly warm fuzzy glow that all looks well with it.

And here's the first poster release below.

The Trouble With Tarot

I lounged on my sofa in the early hours of this morning, unable to sleep I flicked through several channels and watched snippets of several programs. Feeling agitated and restless at not being able to sleep I kept hitting the up channel button on my remote until I reached Freeview channel 31. It was the 'Psychic tv channel'. I decided to watch for a while and what I witnessed was a money making machine designed to rob the vulnerable, insecure and not so clever of society of their money. I've never seen such a cringe worthy piece of rubbish on my tv screen before.

People ringing up in the early hours of the day asking the same stupid questions and being repeatedly told the same vague predictable answers from psychics that are allegedly gifted with things like 'remote viewing' and 'subtle energy'. The only thing subtle is their ability to get you to part with your cash, though anyone with a modicum of brain power can see straight through the ruses on show. Nobody who turns a pretty pictured card over for you can determine what tomorrow or indeed the future holds, it's just total bullshit.

Tarot cards originate from 14/15th century Italy, possibly before in Mamluk ran Egypt and were originally used for card games and depicted various regions in Europe, they later evolved somewhat and were used my mystics and occultism but generally not till the 18th century. It seems there were lots of different types of cards back depicting many things from gods, regions to animal types and indeed today there are many types of tarot cards.

They have no magical qualities, they cannot predict the future, they are just a card with a picture that is turned over by a person that has a gift to talk about the picture revealed and make sweeping generalisations regarding the image and how it supposedly relates to you. When you watch such programmes as psychic tv you almost never see bad predictions being made, it's always good ones as bad stuff wouldn't be a wise business model. What you do see is statements such as 'You'll have a fling when autumn leaves are falling'. Things like this are usually said when a few facts have been determined about the person, as in they in a relationship etc and of course with generalisations like that made there's the fortuitous window that it will happen. What psychics, mediums and clairvoyants do is practice the art of 'chance' by saying gambit orientated stuff that people identify or relate to, such as recent illness, the passing of an elderly relative and other such regular life events that happen to us all, if one person doesn't respond then there's a good chance another in the audience will and then they can begin to build on that with other like 'your grandmother was quite frail in the end wasn't she?' - well most elderly people are!

Emblazoned across the television screen is all the various ways in which you can pay for this nonsense, credit card, pay by phone, pay by mobile, no way to pay is left out and people will pay good money to be told good things. It all runs like a well oiled money making machine as people text or call in with the usual social dilemma's but mostly its love or happiness and they all are told the same but with different words. Credit where it is due, the psychics and tarot readers can talk, they are truly gifted and talking about finding love in a 1001 different ways. One woman called in and remained anonymous and asked 'Does my male neighbour like my Christmas card and will we find love in the new year?' The answer was of course he did love the card but was unsure of his own mind, he was lacking in confidence and perhaps the lady needed to give him a bit of a nudge to instigate something. Therefore the psychic is using the power of suggestion, urging the woman into action and thus making things happen but on the psychics part its all remained vague and no good or bad outcome is mentioned, it's all very clever and its all done with no information on the caller at all.

Sadly there's a lot of vulnerable, gullible and lonely people out there in society, money too is a scarce commodity at present and this compounds how people feel, increasing isolation. It's human nature to want to love or be loved and the producers of the show and their motley bunch of greedy psychics know this very well as they charge upwards of £1.50p a minute to make you feel good, it's television and lies of the worst kind. The fact they can give people a reading knowing nothing at all about them defies logic and when some do reveal their star sign or date of birth we get even more vague information that signifies or means nothing 'Oh Jupiter is in alignment with whatever and this means love for you'. Yeah of course it does.

Tarot cards are meaningless occultist mumbo jumbo, nobody can talk to the dead and nobody can predict the future otherwise we'd have some people in society that could just take over and run the whole show because they'd know everything.

It is odious deception of the worst possible kind. I'll bet they didn't see this blog coming !!!

Beers, Celebrations and Goodbyes

Last night was a night of celebration and goodbyes. Simon, manager of my local the Fox & Crown left for pastures new down south and it was Lee's Birthday, the manager of the Wheatsheaf, another fairly local pub of mine. Simon has been the manager of the Fox for 4 years, I remember his arrival and I recall him being fairly quiet and shy initially. Over the last four years there's been some epic nights in the Fox with revelry, carnage, song and dance, and those memories shall stay with me. I have to hand it to Simon that the Fox at times isn't an easy gig, he lived on site so pretty much lived and breathed the Fox for his duration, I think that would have stifled anyone in the end. He's moving down south to live with his girlfriend and I wish him well for the future, I expect he'll always know he has friends and a warm welcome if he returns. There have been times when I (and others) have been a handful in there but he never moaned, though I suspect he gritted his teeth at some of our antics (and maybe laughed a little as well!)

Also it was Lee's birthday over in the Wheatsheaf, another great fella and a man that loves his job and his home town and indeed he is a credit to it.

So as you can see from the photos below, much beer and revelry took place last night and good fun it was too!

Hitchens

It is with profound sadness that I write this blog. Christopher Hitchens, one of the greatest minds of our time has passed away only hours ago in Texas of pneumonia brought on by his fight with cancer, he was 62.

I'm sat staring at my monitor wondering how I can do this great man any justice with what I now write, he after all was a man of words, a remarkable journalist, author and orator, a man as someone frankly quoted today that 'dared to stand alone'.

Only this week I was watching him on YouTube in debates, such was my interest in what he had to say, especially on the evils of organised religion. Hitchens was a shining light of reason in a world that is increasingly blinded by faith. To me he was a champion, a man of acerbic wit, stalwart debater and a great modern day thinker.

Here are some of the current Twitter tributes;

Richard Dawkins, scientist and author wrote 'Christopher Hitchens, finest orator of our time, fellow horseman, valiant fighter against all tyrants including God.'

Author and friend Salman Rushdie tweeted 'Goodbye, my beloved friend. A great voice falls silent. A great heart stops.'

Actor, author and friend Stephen Fry said 'You were envied, feared, adored, reviled and loved. Never ignored. Never bested. A great and marvellous man.'

Dennis McShane MP and friend wrote 'He could throw words up into the sky, they fell down in a marvellous pattern.'

Friends and journalist colleagues have done tributes on the New Yorker and Vanity Fair websites.

Christopher Hitchens through his books has inspired me to write and speak out against organised religion, his literary style, his pitch and prose and his words of reasoning and pragmatism will ever resound within me. Reading his books and watching him orate have often given me the strength of will to write with my own convictions against what I perceive to be wrong and how I see the world.

I've had to write some difficult emotional blogs in the past, and this rates up there with them, such was his influence in my thinking. He was a maverick, a freethinker and a man that feared nothing, not even cancer. He among others raised the banner of freethinking, he was a great champion of it and I will go on fighting for that cause with the same passion Hitchens had.

Christopher Hitchens 1949-2011

“Beware the irrational, however seductive. Shun the ‘transcendent’ and all who invite you to subordinate or annihilate yourself. Distrust compassion; prefer dignity for yourself and others. Don’t be afraid to be thought arrogant or selfish. Picture all experts as if they were mammals. Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. Seek out argument and disputation for their own sake; the grave will supply plenty of time for silence. Suspect your own motives, and all excuses. Do not live for others any more than you would expect others to live for you.”

And click 'here' for a fantastic little resume of the great man the BBC news site added later.

Articles in today's The Independent news paper can 'here' and 'here'

Britain Will Prevail

So the latest Euro summit is over and the media say Britain stands alone. I'll admit I'm not into financial and monetary stuff, I try to follow it as best I can and grasp its complexities but I do know this, from what I read and see - the Euro seemingly isn't working. When ever I've been abroad the locals always seem disenfranchised with the Euro, it has raised prices and the cost of living they say.

I'll also say I'm not a Conservative but I'm just happy Cameron said No and used his veto at the summit to hopefully protect our interests. I don't want the Euro, I want my bank notes and coins with the Queens head on it, why? Because I'm a patriot and I love my country, for all its rich history, for its beautiful places but most of all for the British people who despite their odd faults and quirks are genuinely warm, caring and accepting.

We stood alone a few decades ago when shadows over Europe loomed, we were alone then and by great valour, courage and determination Great Britain prevailed !

Night Out

It's that time of the year when crazy nights out occur. Friday and Saturday of the weekend just gone by were pretty mad indeed but laced with lashings of fun and utter nonsense. Both nights were mainly in Nottingham with late returns home. I really need to get out of town more and have nights out in different places, I just wish there was a later train back from Nottingham on Saturdays.

A Hobbit London Weekend

Last Friday saw me heading to London to meet up with friends for a weekend of retail pleasure and generally getting away for a couple of days for a change of scenery. As I boarded the train in my sleepy town I noticed the carriage was almost empty, this made for a peaceful journey. The train sped through the English countryside only stopping at a couple of towns and in no time we were pulling into Kings Cross.

Heaving throngs deftly sidestepped I ducked into the underground and headed for Waterloo, the 1990's football anthem of 'Vindaloo' stuck in my head and a nostalgic smile on my face.

On arriving at the huge Waterloo station I munched on a pretty tasteless chicken burger from Burger King and chided myself after for not noticing a decent cheap sandwich stall selling French stick sandwiches for a mere £2.

There was some confusion on meeting my friend at the station as Waterloo has many exits and we basically had to head indoors to find one another under the central large hanging clock. Then there was yet more confusion after we exited onto an overpass and got slightly lost. We soon sorted things and found the nearby Travelodge hotel we were staying at which was near the Old Vic theatre. There's not much to say about the hotel, all Travelodge's seem the alike though this one seemed to have more facilities than most, having a bar, internet cafe and restaurant of sorts. After a bit of rest that was rudely interrupted by a foreign maid who pointed out there was no quilt cover and then never came back it was soon evening and time to head out.

Off to Camden we headed via the northern tube line and then hit the bars in a very busy Camden. The Worlds End pub is one of the busiest I know yet it was rammed with people. Drinking in London isn't cheap, not that anywhere is these days but the first round came to £7.50 for a pint and a half of lager, ouch! We left after the first drinks and header deeper into Camden proper but in doing so was accosted by a Big Issue vendor plying his wares. As I'm involved with Big Issue I noticed they were indeed old wares, a 2 week old magazine for starters plus he didn't have any identification number. This was pointed out to him and he scuttled off into the night, which was amusing as I couldn't have done anything anyway and had no intention to either, being on a weekend break.

Next up was the Elephants Head which is a great little pub on the main road through Camden. At this point I was on pints with whiskey chasers and really getting into the eclectic music being played within. After a few drinks in the Elephant we headed to the Good Mixer on Inverness Street which again is another no frills street corner pub with a good atmosphere and earthy crowd.

The night quickly flashed by and I was very impressed by Camden at night, we then headed back to Waterloo on a late tube and got off at Embankment before crossing a very cold Waterloo bridge and trying to find our way back, by this time I was quite merry and carefree and after a brief escapade in a very expensive London taxi which cost £10 for what seemed like 300-400 meters in the congested traffic we noticed a landmark near our hotel and jumped out to try and find something to eat. Not being aware of the local places we stumbled upon an Italian restaurant. Without going into detail the food wasn't fantastic or in large amounts and it was quite pricey. With a half full stomachs we headed for the hotel to sleep off the first night.

Sleeping in central London isn't easy unless you sleep heavy, I awoke after an initial deep alcohol induced slumber to sounds of planes going over, police sirens and random shouts in the night. Until the morning it was a very patchy sleep but enough to get by on.

Day two promised to be action packed but early on we became aware the northern tube line was disrupted (among others) because of works being done. This seems to happen every time I am in the capital, only the night before a line had gone down after it was announced someone had jumped in front of a tube train, living in London I can possibly see reasons why they might do such a thing.

The day began with a brisk stroll across the Thames, then along the embankment to Big Ben and Westminster before catching the tube again.

We took a different line to Oxford street before indulging in some browsing of shops before heading into a quieter Soho and catching our breath in Soho Square. I'd called my friend Drew at this point and sought advice on buses to Camden as we wanted to shop there later. After a brief rest and coffee at Starbucks we headed deeper into Soho as I'm quite familiar with it and first went to the Vintage Magazine shop on Brewer street. As we headed there cutting through the lovely little Meard Street I noticed that the little Newsagents called 'The Hobbit' around the corner from it had sadly closed.

Seeking solace in Vintage Magazines we soaked up all the retro film goodness and memorabilia, they really do have some great stuff in there, from posters, masks, key rings, coasters, postcards and badges. I purchased a rather spiffy Groucho Marx tea mug and coaster so was a very happy little hobbit. After that we headed up Berwick Street and popped into Sister Ray which is an independent music store, very akin to what Selectadisc was in Nottingham before it closed, it may even be the same company/people running it. I purchased the excellent 'A Universe Between Us' compact disc by Nick Marsh and withdrew after that before I was tempted to buy any more.

I paused on what to do next, we skirted the bottom of Soho and could smell the aroma's coming from Leicester Square and China town but we resolved to head to Tottenham Court road and try and get a bus to Camden. After chatting to a couple of locals, the latter being disenfranchised with the local buses and ticket machines we boarded a packed bus to Camden and I soon recognised the local surroundings though couldn't help feeling sad when a young mother get off the bus and headed to some very dour looking flats with her two kids, I really can't imagine bringing kids up in such a busy built up area. When you become more familiar with London you realise it really isn't as massive as you first think and Camden isn't really too far up Tottenham court road with a couple of slight twists and turns, en route I notice Warren Street tube station where we may be meeting more friends later. And so to Camden, we disembarked the bus and headed into the bohemian crowds in search of avant garde retail goodness.

Several market areas followed in Camden and money started to empty out my pockets at an alarming rate, such is the Camden effect and great range of clothes and accessory stuff, its all in one place. Some may call Camden cliché but they aren't really delving deep in what it has to offer, yes there's some cheap tat rubbish to be sure but there's also some very good clothing to be had that is unusual or hand crafted that goes for other items or artwork too.

We then headed over the road to the Chalk farm stables market and headed on inside through the partially covered Blade runner-esque style myriad of stalls and units. It was there I saw a lovely jacket but held back as I was yet to enter my beloved Cyberdog at the bottom end of the market. Suddenly I was stunned, they were actually queuing to get inside! The coat playing on my mind, and not wanting to queue up we decided to head out the bottom exit and across the road to a rather nice pub called the Monarch and lick our financial wounds and ponder what to do next, in my case ponder if I was going to buy the jacket I'd seen. Being reflective here I suspect not being able to get into Cyberdog was a blessing in disguise as I'd been in there earlier this year and spent loads but on the positive side they do have a website to order from.

Deliberations over the coat complete we headed back to haggle and the woman at the shop in Stables market called Psylo wouldn't budge after offering me £10 off the asking price, I tried to get her to lower it but my efforts were in vain. I caved in, it was a nice coat to be fair and I did fall in love with it at first site, the fit was excellent too. There were a few other bits and bobs purchased by my friend and I before we grabbed a quick pizza slice and headed to Warren street tube station to meet friends Drew and Sophie then retiring to a nearby pub called The Prince of Wales Feathers. It was indeed a cozy traditional pub with friendly staff and a good selection of drinks. Time soon passed and much Geeky talk between myself and Drew was to be had but we all chatted along merrily before noticing it was getting late, by this time I was indeed feeling the exertions of the day and feeling quite tired.

A swift tube journey back to Waterloo via a zig-zag route and with more awareness of our surroundings we noticed a rather good Greek style chip shop near the Old Vic. We bagged hefty portions of fish and chips before heading back to the hotel and collapsing wearily and eating our food and examining our days booty.

Another night of not so great sleep followed (my friend snored!) and it was morning and time to pack our bags and head home, it had all gone so quick. The journey home at lunchtime was uneventful and the tube works going on didn't affect my journey to a very busy Kings Cross. Yet again I succumbed to a quick and tasteless Burger King before boarding the train home, the designated quiet carriage wasn't so quiet as babies where shrieking but I blotted it out with music and dozed in and out of sleep until I arrived home, one hour and 20 minutes later, the contrast between town and city is amazing, and quite reassuring when you get home as the madness of London is left behind.

I think some of my perceptions of London have changed really over the years and many visits. Once upon a time I quite fancied living there but now I'd not even consider it unless I was rich. London is a city of contrasts, some being quite stark but then most cities are. The transport system in London isn't cheap, both for its inhabitants and visitors alike. For example a single journey on the tube from Waterloo to Kings Cross is £5 for a relatively short journey yet an all day travel card for zones 1-2 is £6.80p and you can travel freely all day in those zones after 9am on the tube or bus. A woman that helped me regarding the buses moaned about ticket machines not working and bus prices, as I used my all day travel card I wasn't sure of bus tariff's but they seemed to be £2 upwards, though I may be wrong, not being a native of the city. Buses are indeed a packed soulless affair but good for people watching, there's no interaction with the driver, you show your ticket, board them get off and it does seem open to exploitation really. London transport be it tube or bus is a hap-hazard expensive affair and the tube system compared to other cities is positive antiquated but I guess unalterable in some respects or at least practical ones. It does make me think that the sheer volume of people in London would make the transport systems cheaper though I guess such a massive transport system is very costly to run - if only it was better, and better value for money.

Do I still like London? Yes, because I've not really scratched it's massive surface but in truth there's only odd areas I'm really interested in to be honest. London does have character yet other areas of it seem grey and bland but such is the nature of cities the world over, London in summertime is a much nicer experience. Come the 2012 Olympics next year it'll be a very crowded expensive place and even more multicultural than it already is. I'll always be happy to make flying visits but unless I win the lottery and could buy something secluded with in some nice inner area of it then I'd never live there, it'd be too depressing and even if I did have millions in order to buy such a place then there are much nicer places around the world.

London is a love/hate place for me. Some of the marvellous buildings and structures appeal to my sense of national identity but other aspects of it repel me to some degree. It'll always intrigue me but I'll always want to keep it at arms length, it's great to visit but even better knowing you can leave and come home.

Déjà Vu

It's been a quiet month blog wise, I know you all want more but I've been in video game heaven and doing other stuff, and there's no point in blogging unless I have something worth saying really. So get a cup of tea, settle down and get ready for a humanistic rant. I'm actually in the process of setting up another blog based on my atheist/humanistic ideals but haven't got around to the finer details yet, so until then I have to use my trusty old hobbit blog to get things of my chest and rant with my usual vitriol against all things organised religion orientated.

It almost seemed like a Déjà vu instance as I perused my local paper the Newark Advertiser today. As usual I read the 'Credo' column to see what my religious local friends are up to and who should be featured but the person from my last rant, none other than Lesley Marshall from the church of promise (see the earlier 'You're In Control' blog).

So what proverbial and intellectual gems does Lesley have to offer this time around? Well she's been to the cinema to see Tin Tin and she mentions the senses being bombarded by technology on a daily basis, and at this point I am indeed nodding and concurring. Then we move on to meaningful silence and having studied psychotherapy in the past I am aware how much meaningful silence can be important in some circumstances and situations be it counselling or within a relationship.

Then like the last entry Lesley made we move swiftly into God territory with wildly delusional claims of 'God is the Lord of eternity. He is the creator of time. His timing is perfect and he is never late or rushed.' I lean into my cup of coffee and breathe in, the pungent aroma filling my nostrils and I ponder 'Will Lesley wake up and smell the coffee one day?'

These certainly are fantastical claims Lesley makes and I muse if the so called god of eternity is so pre-occupied with time as to look earthwards and see women being gang raped in the Congo, people being slain by a dictator in Syria or children foraging for scraps of food in the ghetto's of Buenos Aires?

Lesley then goes on to ironically mention how much attention god makes to the smallest details by saying 'It's not just the big crises that god wants to be involved in, but he is concerned with all the small details too.' Well evidently not Lesley because just take a casual look at the news on a daily basis, it's not good is it?

She goes on to add 'Already I can hear some of you hyperventilating in thinking how far behind you'd get in your day if you just sat down in silence and did nothing but chat with god.'

Well firstly I'd tell god what an awful mess things are down here and to come and live as a mortal for a day, feel pain and suffering, feel sadness and despair and get a dose of reality. Unfortunately I can't do this because the phone is swinging aimlessly off the hook because god isn't there, he doesn't exist.

I pity people like Lesley, in their comfy little alternate reality bubble, their twee little world of godly goodness, their world of 'it's gods will' when you point out the calamities of today.

She goes on to suggest that we should try and talk to god and see a quality of life beyond our wildest imagination. Grand and deluded claims indeed, you only have to read the bible to see what a celestial dictator/gangster character god really was. I have to hand it to Lesley she is the queen of wild boasts and extremely knowledgeable when it comes to making sweeping assumptions.

There's a great little book called 'Being Good' by Simon Blackburn which is basically about ethics and in it he quotes;

'All in all, then, the bible can be read as giving us carte blanche for harsh attitudes to children, the mentally handicapped, animals, the environment, the divorced, unbelievers, people with various sexual habits and elderly women. It encourages harsh attitudes to ourselves as fallen creatures endlessly polluted by sin, and hatred of ourselves inevitably brings hatred of others.'

That kind of puts it better than I could really and sums things up perfectly, I could add to the statement with passages from the bible but why bore you with that rubbish. As the philosopher Nietzsche puts it;

'Christianity is the hatred of the intellect, of pride, of courage and intellectual libertinage'

These are tough times the world is in, we need level heads and pragmatism to see us through, not some flights of celestial fantasy from such as Lesley Marshall and other christians. The reality is we have to sort our own problems out using common sense and often personal courage and determination. Mankind needs to put faith in itself and not sit around pathetically thinking some higher conscience is running it all. We're the real architects of this planet, we built everything from bridges to hospitals of our own volition and because of our own needs and ultimately we are the architects of our own destiny be it good or bad. If we sat around praying for new hospitals or bridges would they appear?

Religion in my view is very much like a cigarette, if you've never had one then you don't need it. Should you try one and get past the uncertain coughing stage you become addicted, you come to rely on it at all costs and when problems surface you reach for the packet in order to cope just like christians reach for a god as their coping mechanism. Christianity to some is just like a drug, the opium of the masses as Marx once said, thankfully more people these days aren't as reliant on religion.

Personally if religion didn't exist or wasn't created and human kind had no knowledge of it then the world wouldn't need it. Just like if tobacco hadn't been found we wouldn't be smoking. I don't have religion but then I don't need it because I still have the capacity to love my fellow human beings, to smile, to extend my arms and hug someone and to marvel at how beautiful the world can be. I don't need the invisible and pointless crutches that is religion.

Hopefully in the upcoming weeks I'll be launching my humanist blog and hopefully I can use it as a common sense platform and maybe even start up a local humanist discussion group. I'll keep you posted. Thanks for reading.

Skyrim

So 11.11.11 saw this little hobbit make a dash with reckless abandon to Nottingham this morning to buy the legendary new game from Bethesda that is Elder Scrolls - Skyrim. I've loved their past games starting with Daggerfall in the early 90s, then onto Morrowind, then prior to today's release I enjoyed Oblivion.

The reason I went to Nottingham to bag it was that my local Gamestation store couldn't confirm if they were stocking it on the Pc format. On a very crowded train I sped towards Nottingham early this morning, I pondered if there'd be release problems, as when I bought Oblivion on the Xbox 360 some years back there were some initial teething problems with it.

I was fortunate today, Game in Nottingham were open at 8:45am when I arrived there and after a swift purchase and some fending the assistants efforts off at trying to make me buy a strategy guide for it I headed home. He was persistent for sure, but I explained should I need help and advice there's the whole of the internet to look on for free, his retort was the guide 'looked good'.

Grabbing a quick coffee at the train station I was catching the train back earlier than expected with a smile but also fearing the game I've lusted after so long for would have some kind of problem.

It didn't. Loading took about 6 minutes under the 'Steam' platform and about a minute for a small update then after the program detected my settings and set them automatically to a favourable 'high' the game began and my jaw hit the deck.

For a short while I thought the intro sequence was just for show, characters sat trussed up on a cart, obviously criminals of some sort being led to an execution but then I moved the mouse pointer and realised I could look around, it wasn't an intro, I was actually part of it!

After a cracking opening and a character designing sequence I was on the run from a marauding dragon and escaping through dungeons before emerging onto a mountain path surrounded by trees, it looked so real I almost felt I could reach out and touch them. Within no time my character guided by the one she had escaped with was introduced to the first small town of Riverwood and then the adventures really begin.

All I can say is thank you Bethesda for delivering such an awesome game, I am genuinely lost for words how amazing it is and the fantastic attention to detail. In some ways Bethesda has kept neat little touches from past games yet vastly improved other areas and the graphics and gritty realism is to die for! On first impressions I am literally blown away and believe me, I've seen some games over the years.

Below is the first screen shot I took on escaping the first opening scenes and salvaging some equipment.

And here is the game trailer.

You're In Control

Most Fridays I pop into my local and grab a coffee, it's cheap, decent coffee and I either chat to another customer (most of us know each other) or read the local paper. My local paper the Newark Advertiser has more than its fair share of articles about faith, along the lines of 'new vicar installed at church' etc. Every week it has a regular small column called 'Credo' in which a local narrow minded vicar or pastor does their bit to promote the alleged big guy upstairs. The articles range different subjects, some are light on the religion aspect of things whilst others are plain stupid, the latest Credo being no exception. This weeks literary gem is called 'Let God be in control', yep it's scary just from the headline. The article writer this week, a very deluded Lesley Marshall opens with the subject of school holidays and wholesome family stuff, all good so far until we delve several paragraphs in and she hits us with the god smackdown. She writes (I assume the writer is female);

'We need to be ready for gods touch, wherever we are and whatever we are doing. God wants us to have good quality holiday times.' Hhhmm didn't god just want us to have the sabbath off and how does she specifically know the above fact, has he told her this?

She goes on to say 'He loves us to have relaxation and be unburdened. But he especially loves us to be in a relationship and communication with him everyday so that he can guide us and help us in our busy stressful lifestyles.' Now the article is leaning into an Orwellian slant, you can relax my loyal subjects but don't forget, I'm watching and judging and need constant worship and contact.

The article gets unnerving still, totally moving from the school holidays and family bit to saying 'What's the catch, you may be asking? You need to commit your life to god, talking to him in prayer and listening for his answers, reading his word, the bible, and accepting that god is in control and not you.' I beg to differ, last time I looked I wasn't attached to strings.

Now that's pretty deluded if you ask me, and grossly stupid, I myself am in control of my daily life, not any god, I make the decisions, I have my own moral code and ethics, I influence the days events by my actions and it is also influenced by those around me, god doesn't have a look in. I don't have to tell a god how good he is and I don't have to cower in praise and wish for a life after this in what would be if it existed a kind of celestial North Korea. Yep, to quote Christopher Hitchens here, imagine that every day of your life from the first day you were born until the day you die is scrutinised and judged by some omnipotent being above. Then when you die and if you've passed all the stupid tests he's set (forget being a fallible human!) and ascend to heaven you actually pass into a celestial dictatorship where the big brother scrutiny continues - would you really want that? I imagine if heaven existed it suspect it would be some kind of dour holiday camp with rows of identical wooden huts where you have to live with family, some of which you never liked in the first place for eternity and then daily like a sycophant turn up to a church to tell god how amazing he is, erm... no thanks.

It's really simple folks, you can be a perfectly decent human being without religion, being intelligent creatures we all know between right and wrong and yes we all make mistakes, it's called being human. Catholics of course use confession as a get out of hell free card but seemingly with the amount of child abuse constantly being revealed about the catholic church confession isn't really working very well from either side of the wooden partition.

So back to the 'let god be in control' bit, lets take Lesley's words as the possible truth for a second and ponder the fact that god is in actual total control? All I can say is if that is the case then what an awful mess he is making of it all. Starvation, disasters, cruelty, fear and a list of endless bad stuff, oh yes, as a religious person would respond 'it's gods will'. They'll always play that card over a rational sensible explanation as its a christian universal side step without thinking too much.

It's people like Lesley that actually make the world a blinkered place, the classic christian approach in which they believe praying is the be all and end all about everything, it's a laissez-faire look at life, in the fact I'm a christian, I pray therefore I don't have to worry, and if I slip up I just have to say sorry to some invisible deity and its all good again. All I have to do is subscribe to the bible, a book written and constantly edited by ignorant old men long ago that contains very little historical fact. A book written by individuals that sought control and thought the earth was in fact flat as they lived within their small sphere of influence on the earth.

If I told you that your partner was having an affair or that green paint made you invisible readers, then you'd want proof wouldn't you? Yet christians take the bible as proof without any tangible evidence because its far more easier to be ignorant, christian ignorance after all - is bliss.

Christianity today is a folly on a massive scale where people cling to relics and fables of the past and use it to control and deceive the weak minded or vulnerable, it's a comfort cushion in which we delude ourselves some heavenly big brother or uncle is looking out for us when in fact we are alone in a universe that doesn't give a damn what we do, it's not worried about us so why should we worry about it? As for death, well its simple in my mind, I can't change the fact I'm going to die, I have no control over it so why should I again worry about it? I imagine death to be like a hospital anaesthetic, a void, a blackness where you feel nothing and think nothing but are in no discomfort either. When I had my hip replacement and woke to reality and pain I wished I was back there to avoid the agony I was in so in that respect I didn't find it scary at all. When you talk to most old people these days many seem to crave that eternal not knowing and pain free bliss, they feel they've lived their life best they can and now its time for an eternal slumber of sorts. Yep it may be disconcerting to you reading this, that I think that's what happens but having the option of that or debasing myself in front of a god whose alleged book is filled with cruelty, war and hatred everyday then I know which option I'd prefer. (Yep the bad bits of the bible, of which there are countless many get excluded by christians, we just get the so called nice stuff)

So to close, you're in control of your own life and destiny, things may happen beyond your control to change that but the universe has been nothing if random throughout known time. So forget all the christian control stuff, be true to yourself and others, live life as you see fit, be good to one another and realise you don't need the fetters of religion to live a good, moral and decent life - you, not a god (or any of the over 10,000 listed gods) are in control so enjoy life !

'Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer.' Anon.

Song Of The Month

Here's my song of the month, a very topical one at that. The song is 'Jesus was a zombie' by the amazing Zombie Girl !

Halloween Hobbit

It's only fair I should give you all a bit of a scare on Halloween !

Halloween Beers

Here are a selection of Halloween beers I've sampled over the weekend from the Wychwood brewery, I'd have to say Hobgoblin is my personal favourite though.

Jerry Sadowitz: A Tank Of Pirhana's !

On Friday I went to see comedian, magician and psychopath that is Jerry Sadowitz, I've seen him a few times so knew what to expect, it's fair to say I was looking forward to it immensely as I find the vitriolic Mr Sadowitz a bizarre form of catharsis. The venue was the Lincoln performing arts centre or the 'LPAC' as it's popularly known. So on arriving, my friends Luke, Ryan and myself were swiftly seated in the small venue and awaited the verbal onslaught of the very mad, bad and dangerous to know Sadowitz.

I'd say there were probably 50-60 or so people there, to be honest I was expecting more but then Lincoln is hardly a massive metropolis. Sadowitz soon entered the fray and was ranting at break neck speed, his rapacious way with words is quite staggering on the auditory senses. As he rapidly shifts through topics nothing is safe, he revels in disasters, he rants at other comedians in the spotlight, women, racism, Jews, paedophiles and immigrants are all fair game - and then he produces a fish tank full of piranha's! Not a real fish tank but as he points out fairly, how often do you see someone produce such a thing?

The audience apart from a few comedy aware stalwarts and my friends seem strangely muted, one couple ups and leaves 20 mins into the act, if they'd heard of him, done their homework or even read his tour poster then they should have been aware of the content that would be aggressively spat their way. Sadowitz is definitely for the broadminded, the very broadminded. He feeds on the fact he offends people, so anyone leaving is just adding to his fire of hatred burning within but as I've said in past blogs, people often miss some of his more clever observations.

There was some old material mixed with some new stuff, and the odd magic trick thrown in for good measure and when he can actually stop ranting. I did feel though that the venue wasn't suited to Jerry on the night, when I've seen him in Nottingham the atmosphere has been a lot better and now I've seen him several times I can see how audiences perhaps dictate things to some degree. I suspect a fair few didn't 'get' him in Lincoln and he picked up on it.

The first half closed and I could almost sense Sadowitz wanted to be somewhere else. We managed a swift beer before going back in for the second half. The latter stint contained more classic Sadowitz, we had some character stuff (which Luke liked as that's his thing), rants about the Chinese and a ten minute rant on tv and radio personality Jimmy Savile who bizarrely and more than a bit ironically died the next day! I wonder what Sadowitz thought to that and indeed what he said in his next show as Savile has long been a target of his hatred and jokes. Not long into the second act another couple left which we all thought was odd as by then they really should have known what was coming. Jerry ended the show fairly abruptly, I felt he'd hurried the second half somewhat as I've seen him much more relaxed at other venues in closing things. Quite amusingly on leaving I held the door open for a Chinese fella that had obviously sat through the anti Chinese rant and seemed unaffected by it.

We headed back into Lincoln for a beer and discussed what we'd witnessed, I'd certainly enjoyed Sadowitz as I always do, my friends made interesting observations on the performance as well. I certainly didn't think it was him at his best but he was by no means at his worst either but it wasn't vintage Sadowitz. He was probably more close to the bone and topical than I've ever actually seen him and this shows how observational he actually is and embraces current subjects albeit in his own twisted and evil way.

I'm tempted to go see him at Nottingham next month just to see what he says about Jimmy Savile but every time Jerry does come around I want to go and see him regardless as nobody makes me laugh like he does and I seriously think the man is a genius.

Beer & Me

From as far back as I can really remember, beer has always been a constant in my life, not the fact I've always drank it, just the fact it's always been in there in some form or another either in good ways or bad ways. My earliest memories are going down to the pub with my grandparents on my mothers side, they held forth in a pub down the road called the 'Brown Cow' in the town where I used to live. They used to babysit me at weekends so my parents could have some time on their own, my grandparents would take me along to the pub with them. It was never late night stuff and neither at that point in their lives did they consume large quantities of alcohol but they were hard working people that liked to socialise, smoke and have a beer. This would be back in the mid 1970s and I'd be about 7 years old for a rough guess.

It was at that tender age, sat in the passage way of the pub (as kids weren't allowed in the pub proper) that I caught my first glimpses of pub life and thus began unwittingly my education in the arts of being sociable and the myriad of skills that came with it. Peeking into the pub from the passageway I got to study adults imbibing beer and the resulting behaviour, I witnessed jest and heated debates, I soaked up many things. When the pub was quiet I was even let into the back room and had my own tiny glass that would have a drop of beer in it, I felt like an adult, and more importantly among the throng of people I felt accepted into group dynamics, that's what makes socialising an important thing I guess.

Years dropped off the calendar, my grandparents decamped to another nearby pub for some reason or another and of course they took me along. In summer my parents would take me to a pub called the Ravensdale and we'd sit outside as a family, usually with friends and I'd drink fizzy cola and eat too many packets of crisp than was probably wise. My parents never let me touch any beer really, that was mine and my grandparents little secret.

Early teenage years passed and I recall being indifferent about beer, there were more exciting things to do and it was the dawn of computers in the early 80s, this was the era I transcended into Geekdom! My dad did home brew from time to time and on occasion I'd be allowed a small glass and of course at weekends I'd be at my grandparents, though not as much and by this stage they often had a drink at home, of course I was in on the act.

Around this time I fell ill, I nearly lost my sight aged 12 and it was a very traumatic time for my parents. They were working class, dad worked shifts and my mum often travelled with me to hospitals whilst I had numerous operations to save my sight. I recall one time they were due to operate and needed her to sign forms but couldn't find her. A nurse told me she was in the hospital accommodation block, they could see her lay on the bed through the keyhole but even after hard knocking at the door couldn't rouse her. I had to sign the forms myself as I recall and then the operation took place, I had eye patches on and spent several days in darkness wondering if I'd be able to see the world again. Unbeknown to me, my mum had begun her descent into alcoholism and when the nurses had tried to wake her she'd actually been unconscious from drink, I never realised back then but I see it clearly now.

I recall going on weekend trips with my mum and gran and often my mum would remain in the hotel room in the evenings whilst me and gran would go and do something, again my mother would have passed out when we returned, usually to some strong bottle of spirits she had stashed away and consumed. At a young age I never really had any conception of being that drunk or what alcoholism was.

As the later teen years crept in and I left school, I'd try beer with friends, usually on parks or other secluded adult free places, I never really took to it, sure I felt a rebel doing it but I never drank that much that I got drunk, I just wasn't crazy about the taste, it was the same with cigarettes too. On reaching 17 I probably had the odd can of beer in the house with my dad, though he never drank much at all, mainly after work or at weekends, though on occasion he did make a very heady home brew that made you feel drunk after a pint, I remember the beer kit being called 'Blockbuster' and it was a totally leveller, a barley wine kind of beer but souped up, you knew you'd had it, and a headache would follow the next day. I still called in to see my grandparents at their local, I'd have the odd beer and we'd catch up on gossip, I loved to go and see them in the pub.

On reaching 18, my brother (not real brother but a boy my parents had informally adopted when I was 6 and he was 7) took me on my first night out on the town. He was a year older than me and I marvelled at his stories of night life and girls. I recall when we did weekends away with the charity my mother was involved with we'd share a room in the hotel with some older lads that would go out into places like Blackpool and return drunk wearing silly straw 'kiss me quick' hats singing songs by the Human League. On seeing what fun they had when we were say 15/16 we decided we'd have some of that when we reached 18. That time came and my brother took me out on my first night out. My first pint was 'Mansfield Mild' and was 68p, my brother deemed this was the safest introductory session beer for me to have. It didn't really matter, I got so drunk he carried me home and I was sick down his back, an old man gave us a handkerchief as I remember and my mother was fuming at him. I was beguiled by pretty girls, fashions, the music and the bright lights, it was infectious but the next day hangover ensured I didn't rush back to going out in a hurry. Of course I did go back out again and began to really enjoy it, I was a social creature after all. It was in these early years I learned the real art of socialising and of course chatting the opposite sex up with varying results ranging from disaster to the odd success. They were halcyon years filled with beer and laughter and lots of fun but also on occasion tinged with sadness as beer could make me emotional too, I was very naive then and still trying to come to terms with my place in the big wide world and work out who I really was or what I wanted. These were the 80s, the town where I lived seemed almost magical at weekends, they were good times indeed.

Holidays abroad came and went, so did girlfriends and many adventures were had. On the home front my mothers drinking had manifested itself more and my parents argued quite a lot, in some ways for them it was the beginning of the end as my mothers problem began to spiral out of control. It had a knock on effect and things could often be uncomfortable at home but come the weekend, and despite my brother and I being in fairly low paid jobs we'd escape to the bright lights in town every weekend to forget things I guess.

It was one cold rainy night, not long after splitting with a girlfriend that I returned once again to the Ravensdale pub as an adult this time, alone and feeling sad at my loss, I went to escape problems at home and drown my sorrows but the lesson is drinking never really solves anything. In a bizarre turn of events instead of sitting there staring into a pint and feeling bad I was welcome by the locals, in no time I was shooting pool with them and had made new friends, from that day on I became a regular there and so began the Ravensdale years. I went into town less and went to my new found local more (I still did town though). I made lots of new friends, some of them were legends and are no longer with us and some thankfully still are. I can't describe what an amazing social time it was, year filled with laughter, outings to other pubs with the pool team, after hours lock ins and general moments of pure unplanned hilarious chaos. When things became so bad at home I always had the Ravensdale pub and friends there as a retreat, and would often stay at friends houses after. I also worked at the towns brewery too, great working years and fond memories there but I was perhaps drinking more than was good for me, both at work, and out of it!

By this time my drinking was considerably more, I wouldn't say out of control by any means but I could certainly down a few pints. I was a character and never short of a joke or story but sometimes when things were bad at home beer and emotions weren't a good combination, there's times I deeply regret due to making silly mistakes through drinking beer. My parents divorced due to my mums alcoholism and both moved on with new partners, though my mums condition steadily got worse regardless. My brother and I moved out, I spent some time out of work which is just as well because if I'd had money then it would have been spent on beer. Eventually I went back to live with my mum after a really unhappy couple of years but by then she was really beyond help despite efforts to seek it.

The Ravensdale closed for a refurbishment on 13th May 2002, it was a sad day to an epic era and when it opened later that year it just didn't feel the same anymore and many of the locals moved on.

Years passed by, I had a stint in Hong Kong, holidays to Thailand etc and my eyes opened (perhaps too late) to a big wide world out there. I still loved socialising and often went out but I guess when my mother finally succumbed to her alcohol addiction and died it changed my perspective on alcohol somewhat and I think in some respects I passed my bell curve on drinking. My health began to fail dramatically at this time and moved to the town where I live now, underwent surgery and began to recover slowly.

Fate smiled upon me, at the top of the road I discovered a new local, the Fox & Crown and made a whole set of great new friends (that's not to say I forget the old friends and still miss them). So began a new love affair with the Fox & Crown, it's dangerously close to my place and many great nights have been had in there, as well as other locals nearby. I had my 40th birthday bash in the Fox & Crown and it was a memorable night with friends and family.

So, here we are in the present. To be honest though I still love to socialise though I'm pretty rubbish when it comes to drinking these days. I invariably suffer with hangovers the next day, and not good ones either, and the recovery time takes just too long. In my 20's I was never a great drinker, I probably peaked around 30 in the capacity I could take and then it all went downhill apart from odd nights thereafter. Last year on my friends stag night was one I recall drinking lots and handling it pretty well (though I was still very drunk!). Nowadays I drink less than I ever did and feel better for it. Beer is expensive now, it's not an easily social commodity it once was, pubs are dying a death as people buy copious amounts of beer from supermarkets very cheaply. The truth is, if takeaway beer was more expensive and beer in pubs was cheaper it would be regulated better, because people wouldn't drink silly amounts at home or on street corners. My own local seemingly has gone into decline of late, there seems less people in there than ever. I could say this is endemic of the town but some pubs seem to be flourishing whilst other fall by the wayside. I'm not sure what the problem is at my local, it feels tired in there of late, despite recent efforts there's certainly some apathy in there on the management part and I suspect the senior management are blissfully unaware that the pub as a whole needs changes in order to move forward.

I guess these days with what I do I see first hand the detrimental effects of what alcohol can do and it's not pretty, although that would never influence the fact I love to socialise it is a great leveller in many ways. I'm never going to stop socialising or enjoying a drink but these days apart from the odd blow out I'm guessing moderation is the way forward for me personally. The good old days of pubs may be passing by and the new era of pubs seem uncertain, many breweries have closed and the new super breweries have no character, it's all geared to evident profits now, perhaps it always was but never so apparently as it is nowadays.

I'll always be partial to a good beer but in the here and now it will never be a constant as it perhaps once was.

Scotland Alone?

Alex Salmond the first Scottish minister and leader of the SNP keeps banging on about Scottish independence in the news. Whilst I admire his patriotism I can also see his evident stupidity. Both our countries have been intertwined for hundreds of years now both culturally and financially and whilst I respect the Scot's for being a traditional folk, probably more so than us English my feeling is they'd have a hard time on their own. Mr Salmond bangs the patriotic drum about power being at Westminster but as we all know Scotland makes many decisions alone and has its own parliament. Whilst he points to the fact we are cutting Scottish spending and creaming north sea oil revenue he negates such facts as massive benefit and health subsidies for Scotland that they receive.

If Scotland went solo it'd soon feel the pinch, you don't have to be a wizard to do the maths, less people thus less tax and a whole myriad of other problems they'd come up against not being in a union. Personally I'm indifferent, if Scotland went it alone I'm sure the government would have less to worry about and more money to hand. Most people see Scotland as some picture postcard country with idyllic vistas and quaint villages, well let me tell you I've seen some parts of Glasgow that I'd never want to see again for health and personal safety reasons. On visiting my ex girlfriends village a few years back I'd not want to ever go there again, kids riding around on roofs of cars and rampant alcoholism, Scotland like anywhere else is not without it's own problems.

I like the Scots, in my experience they are warm genuine and very proud people but they are part of this island too and I genuinely think our futures lay together for obvious mutual benefit.

Africa

I seriously can't think of any reasons why I would want to visit the continent of Africa although at a push if I was in Spain I'd do a day trip to Morocco to say I'd been, that's it, and then at a push if at all.

Where do I start with this one? Well every time I look at the news it ain't good about Africa. Tourists kidnapped regularly, Somali pirates, bogus emails from alleged Nigerian businessmen, famine, civil war, mass rape, drought, lawless, disease, religion, gun crime and the list could go on. Whilst I have to acknowledge its the cradle of mankind's evolution and has some genuine wonders and places of amazing beauty it's really not on my to do list.

Books have been written describing Africa as a future Mad Max-esque wasteland and it seriously wouldn't surprise me if it becomes that in the not too distant future.

In some areas of Africa it seems like every second person is a christian pastor of some kind. They revel in old witch craft traditions combined with christianity and persecute gay people or non conformists - it almost sounds like England in the middle ages.

The recent Libya conflict is now resolved but will it all end quietly, I mean they can't even decide on how to bury Gaddafi's body, so how are they going to agree on running a new state? There's still unrest in Egypt and Algeria according to news reports. My guess is the west will of course try to set up lucrative oil contracts with Libya with generous payments for those that facilitate it. China is already colonizing large tracts of Africa for industrial exploitation. They may be building infrastructure but this is at small cost considering the current massive untapped resources and local cheap labour. What will happen when it all runs out I wonder?

I have a friend from South Africa, an elderly woman that does my clothes alterations on occasion, she moved from the country a few years ago citing the growing crime rate as being a major incentive.

You have all these countries within Africa that have received billions in aid during famine yet guess what? Yep it's still happening because all they do is sit around and procreate all day but then again the catholic church tells them not to use condoms in some countries. As the worlds population reaches a landmark 7 Billion Africans keep making babies despite being in poverty.

I could type on and on about Africa but I'm sure you get the message, some may find it distasteful, offensive and wrong but you cannot deny my very valid points. I'd like to be optimistic about the place but I can't.

The Cult Of Celebrity

Every time you switch your Tv on these days there is a reality show on, its nothing new, we seemed to have embraced reality programmes with a passion over the last decade or so. I can't deny that I've watched reality shows and enjoyed them in the past but these days I think they are cliché to the extreme. The current crop of shows gracing our screens at the moment has contorted the word 'celebrity', it has changed the meaning to 'someone that may have been on a programme once in the past'. Of course real stars avoid celebrity programmes like the plague, why tarnish a good career? It's the desperado's that we are left with, the ones that will do anything for exposure that could lead to other things or bring a few quid in. Then of course we have to address the fact they are clearly deluded and their overblown self belief is evident.

What I find amusing on celebrity programmes these days, such as celeb big brother or celeb coach trip et al is when the celebs first meet they regularly don't even know who the other is! The reason generally being for that is that they really aren't well known at all. There seems to be a collision on such programmes of celebs that have crashed and burned such as Michael Barrymore meeting celebs (I use the word loosely here) who have been on some minor cable channel decorating rooms or something.

It seems all you have to do these days is appear on a reality tv programme, albeit even once and you have transcended normal everyday life and are now a celebrity. An article that recently amused me was two X-Factor contestants called '2 Shoes' (yes from Essex, where else!) announced after being booted out of the show on the first week that they wanted to do their own chat show. Here lies the problem with the whole cult of celebrity these days, in the fact after minimum exposure people assume they've hit the big time and deserve something without any effort at all. The tragedy is that the world of minor celebrity is a cut-throat one, they have to hustle for such shows to pay their way, however demeaning they might be or you swiftly fall from grace and into debt, I quote Jade Goody for instance who died leaving sizeable debts and other celebs such as the loathsome Kerry Katona that has reported of being in considerable debt before.

What we seem to have these days is the regular circuit celebs, looking at the current crop of celeb programmes it seems to be the ones that have been on Big Brother in the past or as I stated above are fallen stars or minor channel wannabe's.

I guess in the past I used to enjoy such shows to a degree, I never took them seriously they were just something I watched whimsically. I guess the likes of Big Brother started out as something experimental and new but rapidly declined into the same old crap year in, year out. The by-product being people that probably enjoy a 5 mins of fame before lapsing into the unknown abyss and then being unable to come to terms with it.

The bad news is though the media will keep churning it out and of course there is a market for it on tv and the tabloids which is probably the reason I don't read such newspapers any more or watch that much television, unless I want to vent my spleen at such drivel for therapy.

Jobs

I'm not really an Apple person but nobody can deny the passing of Steve Jobs of Apple is a loss to the technology industry, particularly as he was one if its great pioneers. I first came into contact with an Apple computer on leaving school when I got to use an Apple Lisa computer where I once worked and it was ahead of its time. I also used to read the gaming/computer press back then and look in envy at some of the Apple games. I'm not really into the latest Apple stuff but I see how visionary some of it is and of course Steve Jobs is responsible for some of that.

This video clip of him talking about life and death is particularly inspirational.

Song Of The Month

I've been having an eclectic month musically but I stumbled across an old album by 'Tangerine Dream' which brought back fuzzy warm memories of my 20's. This song is pretty synth and quite blissfully trippy!

The official Tangerine Dream website is here.

Sunny September

Well the closing days of September have been lovely indeed, so here's some photos taken locally in Newark and Bottesford down the road. Enjoy!

Essex, Give It A Rest!

What is the British media's obsession with Essex at the moment?

We have programs like 'The only way is Essex', 'Educating Essex' and Essex people featuring in many other shows gracing our Tv screens. When and why has Essex become a big deal? At

At first I thought it's just the media having some fun in the way they depict Essex people and are just inflating stereotypes for entertainment but of late I am not so sure. Recent programs such as 'Come dine with me' and 'Three in a bed' featured people from Essex who just added to the stereotype even more. I can only assume that there is an endless supply of people from Essex who do in fact fit the profile the media is projecting and are in fact materialist egoists that revel in bling, vajazzle and generally being flash. Suddenly Essex is a big deal, it's a great place and it's people are über-cool if seemingly the butt of the nations jokes and laced with superficiality.

The sad thing is, many in Essex (the not so intelligent) have bought into Essex mania and so I guess the normal people in Essex (yes I suspect there are a few!) have to suffer it. Personally my experience of Essex people hasn't been too positive but I won't let that cloud the issue here. The reality is Essex isn't a big deal and in my opinion there's far greater counties of beauty within Britain whose people have countless more charm.

The Ridicule Factor

Ok I confess, I watch the X Factor, not avidly nor do I worry if I miss the programme but I watch it if I'm at home on a Saturday. The show I feel is pretty irreverent about music and has always been irreverent in the way it portrays people. I'm guilty as charged for laughing at the misguided souls trying to impress. Of all the thousands auditioning the ones deemed to have genuine talent progress and so the process goes on. I guess with most it's just a punt at making the showbiz life and there's nothing wrong in that. Others have been told they can sing by friends (who lied) and have wholly bought into it. A minority have unashamed arrogance in their capabilities or lack of them and some to be blunt are just plainly deluded, there's no easy way of saying it.

There's many different tiers of talent on the show from the raw yet to be moulded talent, the entertaining pub/club types that can belt out a half decent tune, the unusual or bizarre and as I have mentioned the above the wishful thinking or deluded types. One last type remain though and that's the vulnerable, the sort the show will shameless showcase for the entertainment of the rabid British tv viewing proletariats. The nation must echo with laughter as we watch couples such as the Sinclairs or individuals like Ceri Rees attempt to sing and fail dismally.

Let's be honest here though, such people however nice clearly aren't as intelligent or astute as the majority, I think there's a line between delusional and perhaps not the sharpest tool in the toolbox to coin a phrase. That is in no way intended as disrespectful, the flat fact here is that some of us are more intelligent and perceptive than others in society and that's how it will probably always be, the intelligent and the not so.

What angers me about the show is that they know this too yet the sensationalist producers will still lead the vulnerable lambs out to the slaughter because it's good for ratings, like jesters of old they entertain the kings of the living room armchair thrones and its all very sad if you ask me. I've got to the point where laughter now eludes me, I just shake my head in pity and question why the producers of the program would (a) readily make fools of people knowing they have no musical ability (b) air something that doesn't have the alleged X factor or is remotely musical and (c) create a cause and lasting effect scenario for unfortunate people.

Now you could argue that regardless of any intelligence, ability or skill you have a right to audition and in essence I concur however I do think there is a small percentage as recently demonstrated that could be clearly regarding as vulnerable in some respects. According to reports the Welsh woman Ceri Rees shown on the last audition show has been in tears ever since and the producers were contacted by a singing teacher who had befriended her and pleaded with them not to show the footage. If Ceri Rees had failed four times to progress in the show why build her up again only to destroy her hopes and dreams all over again? It's even disconcerting for die hard fans of the show. As for the Sinclairs, they seemed a lovely couple who probably now will receive ridicule and humiliation in the high street resulting from their footage. Unless the show vets people better before allowing them a very public demise on stage I suspect one day it may end in tears with something very real happening on a reality show that really isn't very nice at all.

Usually mature adults in this country make allowances for people who perhaps aren't the brightest or who may have mental health issues and morally look out for them in many respects so that they retain their dignity, yet a national family show has no such disposition or concern. The irony is that a contestant before who did have mental health issues was pulled from the show after progressing which can only have been a massive blow to the persons morale. People with low intelligence or indeed mental health suffer enough as it is in society without national media portraying them as buffoons. I'm not saying those people can't be gifted in many ways because they can but the reality often is that they don't see things as we do and that's the simple fact of it, if they were to progress the trappings of fame and publicity would only end up confusing them more and doing real psychological damage.

In closing I think the X factor needs to concentrate more on the potential talent than highlighting no talent at all. Everyone deserves the right to apply but everyone needs to be treated with respect and moral understanding of the implications of being on the show. I don't like what Simon Cowell stands for basically, the X Factor is all about finding potential talent for financial gain, the contestants also gain short term but when they fall out of the brief attention span of the public they are released from (as I understand) a very stringent contract and then who knows what will become of them, remember Steve Brookstein? In March 2010 Mr Brookstein was performing in a pub in Cornwall where punters paid £2.50p to hear him sing, if you bought a pie and a pint that was then waived, his two albums were on sale for £3 each. Despite his 5 minutes of fame he's a very bitter man.

Musically the X Factor has and never will give us anything other than commercial produced pulp pop tunes where the contestants are propelled to fame without any real maturing. There's lots of genuine talent out there in this country, the sensible ones probably opt not to appear on the X Factor because they have a love for 'real' music. We may live in an age in where things move a little faster and singers or bands become popular overnight due to the media unlike the greats who have had to perform long and hard over the years to gain recognition and deserved fame but like a wine or cheese that matures over time - they're always better.

Graphics Card

My old graphics card died recently, not sure why, probably over use! So after some consultation I switched from an Nvidia type to a new Radeon HD 6750 which I was more than a little sceptical about. It's been installed a while now and is running really well, The old Nvidia had served me well during the two years since my pc was custom built but pc stuff always moves at a fast pace. The new graphics card has more options I can tick on games and some of the results are quite stunning, here's a couple of screen shots of my character in Lord of the Rings online with the settings ramped up.

I Never Thought ...

I never thought preparing a new blog site would have so much work attached to it. It's still very much work in progress but I feel I'm getting there. After the recent period of feeling de-motivated I've done quite a bit of typing this weekend. I've finished one article I intend to post on the new blog but with that said it was completed after several re-types. I'm struggling with the intro bit at present and keep typing stuff, leaving it and then coming back to it in a re-appraising kind of way.

I still have to create another mail account for the blog and another twitter account which should be straight forward, it's the actual content I need to do more work on before I go live with it. I really don't want the new blog website to just sit there and not have much going on, so I'm going to have to get in the habit of being more pro-active. Ideally I should be more active with this blog but of late I feel if I have nothing to say or not much is happening so it's best to not to blog for the sake of it. I mean really, who wants to read my mundane day to day stuff? I'm warming more to Twitter of late for daily thoughts etc, Facebook doesn't really work for me these days and Google+ is excellent but slow in getting off the ground, though I'm sure it will.

I'm still going to keep this as my primary blog, the new blog will hopefully go live soon though still needs more work and planning. That leaves my creative writing blog that I haven't used for probably over a year which is a bit sad, though I have done some creative stuff but it's largely unfinished. Lastly I'd like to do a techno/games blog for all those fuzzy warming retro memories I have but that's more of a thought at present and I don't know when or if it will happen.