Persecution, I Don't Think So

The Sunday Telegraph ran an article yesterday called 'Britain is persecuting Christians'. The article tells how 640 prominent figures (mainly teachers and religious leaders) have signed a letter stating that teaching sex education in schools to minors is undermining morals etc. They are also aggrieved at recent cases where they state christians have been seemingly persecuted or discriminated in the work place. They are calling upon the government to drop legislation regards teaching sex education to pupils as young as seven, stating they need a childhood first as one example. Whilst I am inclined to agree children do need a childhood I also think they need to be aware of adult issues too, especially in today's modern society where media and television exposure only leaves kids asking questions at an early age anyway.

Back when I was at school I recall my parents tentatively telling me the basics, I suspect it was probably awkward for them, in school I don't think we got the official lowdown till about age twelve, by which time we all knew about 'how babies are made' and just sat there giggling nervously as the teacher prattled on but this was the late seventies after all.

Firstly I think in today's society you can certainly structure how it is introduced to young curious minds. In later years of course you can introduce the safe sex elements, which I suspect is pretty much how they handle it anyway these days.

Of course, if religious or faith leaders had it their way there'd be none of it, we'd be filling young minds with nonsense about Adam and Eve and big storks coming alone bringing bundles of joy. As a species of course we are driven to procreate, you reach puberty and all hell breaks loose in your mind and your body, if matters aren't understood then of course accidents occur, as they did back in the day so to speak when conceptions happened at early ages for a lot of women. These of course were women that had to endure shame, hand the baby over to elders or strangers and loads of other horror story scenarios. When asked why they'd had a baby so young the majority would plead ignorance as regards sex, so would males, after all it was a taboo subject. Most people had to find their own way forward sexually, gaining information either by experience first hand or by asking others shyly in confidence.

Thankfully we've moved on, sex isn't such a 'difficult' subject anymore, so explaining what is a perfectly natural act shouldn't really be a big deal, however we do need to be sensible about the approach and application of it. Emphasis in this day and age needs to be on the pitfalls of having children at an early age and the dangers of unprotected sex.

What I am really saying is young minds need to be open and not closed at an early age so things become understood.

As for people being discriminated in the workplace because of their faith, all I have to say is that firms and companies do have ethical frameworks and rules in place but that's the nature of the beast in the workplace anyway, rules vary from place to place. Whilst I personally would have no problem with anyone wearing a crucifix I can also see why organisations take a neutral line on religion, it just makes things easier. I don't think there's any prejudice against christians like they state, sure, exceptions may have been made for some faiths, Sikh's wearing turbans being the obvious one that comes to mind but this really isn't new. The work place should be a religious free zone except for issues of common sense. The place of work and the place of belief and worship need to be kept separate. You wouldn't talk (as we say in Britain) 'shop' in church, neither do you want someone rambling on about religion and morals in the work place.

Personally I am glad we are more open these days as a society and that the Sunday school mentality is beginning to fade, the truth of the matter is that christians are losing the grip they had in bygone days, when ignorance was preferred and sex was something muttered about whilst looking around cautiously.

Friendships

I've always been a person that takes friendships seriously, though that said in all honesty I have very few close friends. At the start of this year I pondered the friends situation and decided to strengthen some of the friendships I have. There's no really easy way you can do this apart from just being honest and straight with people and of course giving them more of your time and be more understanding of them. Personally, sometimes I do myself no favours, I can be brusque at times, maybe arrogant to some, and I don't think people always get my humour. I also have a habit of speaking my mind, though these days I do generally tend to think more before I do so.

The good thing over the first quarter of this year is that I do feel I have improved several friendships with people. I think the recent passing of my friend Russ has also made people closer in the community I socialise with, I suspect a good few of us have been reflective of our friendships with each other.

I do think it's hard to strengthen some bonds, people have different outlooks or allegiances and some people can be judgemental at times, including myself, which is why I decided to try and be more accepting of others this year, to try harder in general.

Fortune has favoured on me since I moved here and I've made some good friends, though there's the odd one or two that I feel haven't really accepted me into the fold just yet. Recently I've connected with some old school friends and that feels good, hopefully I will see more of them and catch up about the past (cringe!!!) in the coming months.

One thing is for sure though, as I get older I increasingly realise how important good friends are.

Street Sage

I've been enjoying my weekly jaunts to the Nottingham project immensely of late, it's good to experience a change of scenery and new sights and sounds, though I like my little town, but sometimes it can be a little mundane at times, if only through familiarity.

This Wednesday gone by, I awoke feeling very fatigued. The night before had witnessed the onset of a cold, aches, sniffles and the usual heavy feeling around the nose and forehead. Part of me wanted to call the day off, recline back into bed and seek solace in the warmth of my quilt but with a great effort I clambered out of bed groaning loudly as the cold engulfed my skin. The usual morning routine followed, kettle on, wash, clean teeth, switch PC on and check emails and sit and wake with a cup of Earl Grey and a mint flavoured Kit-Kat.

My cold was seriously encroaching upon my well being, my nose running like an out of control freight train and every limb had a gnawing icy ache. I didn't want to miss Nottingham, plus I wanted to put some posters up of a friends band in a couple of music shops there as his band is playing an unsigned bands music festival this Sunday in Birmingham. So armed with some pain killers, tissues and hobbit like resolve I wearily marched off into the new day.

The day passed pretty rapidly, I was on my own for a while at the project in the morning but joined by others later, there were a couple of amusing events and some really interesting (though a few odd) people drop into the project during the course of the day. At 3pm I was on my way, heading back to Nottingham train station albeit at snail's pace, sniffling with cold and cursing my aching bones.

It was then I decided to try to reach out and connect with the city. Now this next bit may seem bizarre, so bear with me but it's something that is kind of like an extension to my psychotherapy training , an idea of sorts put into practice and form by letting go to your surroundings or 'Street Saging' as I've nicknamed it.

Still with me? How does it work? I'm as mad as a hatter you say?

Well, the secret to it is simply like an extended empathy with your immediate surroundings, a case of active listening, people watching whilst shutting your own thoughts down to reach out and connect with others around you. I know, it's hard to take on board but the secret is using the vibe of the city as a kind of conduit to extend yourself out and actively try and feel how others around you are feeling. Of course body language is essential but I've found I can also reach out when listening to music on the ipod too. I think its something like 80% of all communication is done via body language, it's something we can all read and understand, sometimes its evident and sometimes it's more sublime but we can all understand it and read it to varying levels, more so actively examine it if know what you are looking for. There's nothing hard or complex about street saging, it's basically people watching in it's base form, it's just I feel that a little more knowledge and awareness does help you see and feel more of what's out there.

As I was really tired it wasn't hard to mute my own thoughts and try and connect with what was going on around me. I saw an Indian guy, smartly dressed but looking lost and lonely, he aimless wandered gazing around as he did so, trying to connect with someone or perhaps hoping to see someone he knew. He was short like me, had large eyes and in truth looked a little odd, it occurred to me that because of the way he looked he had possibly suffered rejection by people of his own community, though this of course is only speculation, as I try to fathom why he looked so forlorn. In truth of course I'll never know but I could sense he felt alone and a part of me wanted to reach out and say 'you don't have to feel lonely mate, let's have a coffee and a chat but as we all know you can't just go marching up to people, it's just kind of how you'd want it to be in an ideal open world, but alas it's not. I could have been wrong about him but my feelings were there all the same, it's just the empathy feeding back to you.

As I walked on I saw other people, a guy walking with a bad limp, probably due to some deformity or accident, he seemed to avoid gazing at people, he looked down and ambled on almost shutting the outside world out, as if he wanted to get from A to B without noticed or ridiculed. Several people in and I was lost with thoughts and feelings of others detached from your own personal stuff, I'd forgotten my cold completely as more and more I was drawn into people around me, not so much staring but just taking a glimpse and you stroll past and taking on board how they look to be feeling.

In some ways my heart sank, there seemed to be a lot of lonely lost souls that day, I mused to myself many things such as 'do they have many friends, where do they live, are they just wallflowers that want to let the world pass them by, simple because it's easier that way?'

As I journeyed home on the train I felt emotional inside, whilst cities can be infectious and exciting places they can also be sad and lonely, not because of the obvious candidates such as down and outs, big issue vendors and such but simply because of how sad the average man or woman in the street can look and how alone and vulnerable they seem to be.

Street saging doesn't have to be so depressing, though it's good to be aware that others around you can be sad, it's good to notice vulnerabilities and try and understand them. There's times when I have let go and street saged only to be lifted by others around me, small children laughing or having wonder in their eyes. Lovers embracing, having just met up after being apart, old people holding hands having been married for decades and simply people smiling to one another. I put my thoughts to a friend briefly last night and he say he understood completely where I was coming from, I'm sure others understand my angle too.

When I look at people I always see optimism, and hope inside that despite the fact they are looking sad, tomorrow they may well be feeling happy or turning a corner better things. If only more people tried being human more often, forgetting personal thoughts and reaching out with empathy - can you imagine how much a better world it would be?