To be honest I'm not a person that usually likes children or can see myself ever having any, that's my preference and personal reasoning. I've worked with teenagers in the past and I didn't really enjoy it and I usually avoid small children.
During the last week my friend has been over from Hong Kong with his family and I spent some time with them. They have a lovely 3 year old son who is fast growing up. As I walked through town with them his tiny hand slipped into mine as his parents were momentarily distracted looking into a shop window. At first I felt odd and then suddenly overcome with a strange but good feeling. As the day passed I interacted more, chatted and laughed with him and maybe felt a pang of wanting to be parent. Ironically a friend once said I'd make a really good parent.
Then yesterday when the young girl on 'Britains Got Talent' sang on tv and suddenly became so panicked she gasped and couldn't go on my heart went out to her, my throat contracted, a silent sob issued forth and I was gripped by her evident onset of nerves and anxiety. Despite her distress the great British public urged her on and applauded her and thankfully she was given a second chance later in the show.
The truth is, I will probably never have kids, I don't think the future is amazingly bright but I think if I had my time again, the circumstances were different then I would probably want to father a child…. Perhaps. Alas the practical side of me, the cynical side of me doesn't want kids and thinks that people need to think long and hard before they have them, and if they can provide for a future for them. It was good to feel that brief tiny glimmer of ‘inner parent’ within me though and I cannot deny it felt good.
During the last week my friend has been over from Hong Kong with his family and I spent some time with them. They have a lovely 3 year old son who is fast growing up. As I walked through town with them his tiny hand slipped into mine as his parents were momentarily distracted looking into a shop window. At first I felt odd and then suddenly overcome with a strange but good feeling. As the day passed I interacted more, chatted and laughed with him and maybe felt a pang of wanting to be parent. Ironically a friend once said I'd make a really good parent.
Then yesterday when the young girl on 'Britains Got Talent' sang on tv and suddenly became so panicked she gasped and couldn't go on my heart went out to her, my throat contracted, a silent sob issued forth and I was gripped by her evident onset of nerves and anxiety. Despite her distress the great British public urged her on and applauded her and thankfully she was given a second chance later in the show.
The truth is, I will probably never have kids, I don't think the future is amazingly bright but I think if I had my time again, the circumstances were different then I would probably want to father a child…. Perhaps. Alas the practical side of me, the cynical side of me doesn't want kids and thinks that people need to think long and hard before they have them, and if they can provide for a future for them. It was good to feel that brief tiny glimmer of ‘inner parent’ within me though and I cannot deny it felt good.
1 comment:
you watched 'britain's got talent' - shame on you.
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