I never knew moving home could be so hard, both physically and emotionally.
Just had to take a break, write something down, this blog will probably be my last for a while, I hopefully move Saturday so will be off the net for a while, unless I jump on dad’s pc.
I guess I didn’t think I has so much stuff, there’s just loads I didn’t realise I had. Then there comes the emotional pangs of finding old letters from loved ones, cards and other items that had been long shut away from view and from mind. Each one I’ve re-read again which evokes all those old memories, it’s like you know you don’t want to read stuff but can’t help it. Then of course there are the old books I’ve thrown away, the old mementos too including an old bar stool I kept when my favourite pub closed down and refurbished.
My feelings are fluctuating, happy that I am leaving for a much better place, sad at leaving a place that has been my home for the last seven years, there is a lot of memories here, it’s been a place where I matured vastly.
There is though an inexorable pull in me to move forward and leave my home town behind, I no longer like it or want to be here (and haven’t done for some time), I want new challenges and a better environment. Being near dad after my upcoming surgery will help too as I am going to need much help and support for which promises to be a painful time.
I wish I could write something emotional with meaning, something fluid and poignant but I can’t, everything seems disjointed in my head, I feel drained. The more I seem to chuck things out and fill boxes the more there seems to do.
But I know, leaving here, moving on will be the catharsis I need.
Just had to take a break, write something down, this blog will probably be my last for a while, I hopefully move Saturday so will be off the net for a while, unless I jump on dad’s pc.
I guess I didn’t think I has so much stuff, there’s just loads I didn’t realise I had. Then there comes the emotional pangs of finding old letters from loved ones, cards and other items that had been long shut away from view and from mind. Each one I’ve re-read again which evokes all those old memories, it’s like you know you don’t want to read stuff but can’t help it. Then of course there are the old books I’ve thrown away, the old mementos too including an old bar stool I kept when my favourite pub closed down and refurbished.
My feelings are fluctuating, happy that I am leaving for a much better place, sad at leaving a place that has been my home for the last seven years, there is a lot of memories here, it’s been a place where I matured vastly.
There is though an inexorable pull in me to move forward and leave my home town behind, I no longer like it or want to be here (and haven’t done for some time), I want new challenges and a better environment. Being near dad after my upcoming surgery will help too as I am going to need much help and support for which promises to be a painful time.
I wish I could write something emotional with meaning, something fluid and poignant but I can’t, everything seems disjointed in my head, I feel drained. The more I seem to chuck things out and fill boxes the more there seems to do.
But I know, leaving here, moving on will be the catharsis I need.
1 comment:
i must have missed the bit where you matured?
when did it happen?
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