God among directors

Found a really interesting website singing the virtues of two of my fave directors, The legend that is Quentin Tarantino and someone who is just about his equal these days Robert Rodriguez. There's also sections for John Woo, Martin Scorsese and Kevin Smith.

http://www.godamongdirectors.com/index.shtml

As if by Magic

As a kid I always loved to watch Mr Benn, I was mesmerised by the cartoon and the adventures of the man in the bowler hat who resided at 52 Festive road. Each episode was essentially the same, Mr Benn would leave his house, see kids playing in the street, go to the costume shop and then ‘as if by magic’ the bespectacled shopkeeper would appear and help him choose an outfit. Then off Mr Benn went to the changing room and the adventures that awaited him. Costumes worn and adventures he got involved in included the red knight, cowboy, clown, spaceman and wizard to name a few.

The original series created by David McKee contained 13 episodes which were seemingly constantly repeated on BBC1 and 2 since first being screened in 1971. Odd that as a kid I must have seen it hundreds of times but Mr Benn never lost that magic, even though they numbered a scant few episodes. The bit I liked most was that there was always a memento of his adventure waiting for him when he got home or something in his suit pocket.

To my nostalgic joy Mr Benn is released on dvd next month with all 13 episodes and a recently filmed 14th episode – I can’t wait.

There a couple of good links below, the first one made me giggle as it introduces theories as to what Mr Benn was all about, there’s even a Freudian theory! The second link has some really cool retro wallpapers for your pc, including one of Mr Benn.

http://easyweb.easynet.co.uk/~stephenbalchin/mrbenn.html

http://www.tellytunes.com/wallpaper3.asp

One year old

I didn’t realise till I went into my blogger statistics that my blog is just over a year old, it’s passed so quick and been very enjoyable. It’s only fair that I give my fellow bloggers a mention, tell you a bit about them and their blogs as we’ve all been reading and commenting on each others blogs over the last year.

My blog isn’t really a blog that attracts a huge amount of traffic, its something personal that a few people read and remark upon. I’ve not really sought to go out there and lure people here, it’s my space and I’m indifferent if people read its content or not, ok I’m lying – please leave a comment!

In reading other peoples blog’s I’ve noticed they are all diverse and almost all are interesting to read to a degree, some are a source of news whilst others are personal journeys, most offer what we humans call ‘Inspiration’. The blogging world is a fantastical journey of information, expression, opinions, empathy, confessionals, self healing disclosures and lastly laughter.

Here are some blogs I read almost daily -

Pat's blog

Firstly it was my friend Pat that got me into Blogging, he kept mentioning his blog till I got nosey and enquired what a ‘blog’ was. In my blog infancy Pat was there to help out and also to dispense his cynical wisdom. Pats blog is eclectic, cynical, diverse, political and very witty. It’s a no frills blog with personal comments and current affairs criticisms with the odd review or revelation thrown in for good measure. Even though Pat gave me a helping hand in the early days with the odd bit of html he blatently nicked my 'daily quotes' idea. Check his blog out here.

Serendipity's blog

The next blog up is Serendipity. She’s a local girl that lives down the road from me and ironically we’ve never met. I stumbled upon her blog whilst browsing local blogs and her articulate style and comments caught my interest. Serendipity’s blog is one firmly based around therapeutic disclosure and personal events, it’s a journey of her feelings and experiences in day to day life. Sometimes its very noir, others it’s inspirational. Give it a read and click here.

Shep's blog

A blog I certainly must mention is ‘Shep’s’. I first started reading Shep’s blog through a link on Pat’s page and immediately warmed to it. It’s witty, fresh and different everyday – there’s always something new to read. There’s usually a post everyday, most posts are laced with brevity and wit. Some of his comments on my blog have had me grinning broadly and laughing out loud, especially his sardonic comment on my Beatles blog. Go and check Shep’s blog out here.

Em's Blog

Last up for a mention but certainly not least is ‘Em’s’ blog. If ever you need to know anything about London, she’s your girl. Some of her post’s feel and read like they’ve been lifted out of a London tour guide and are fascinating and insightful to read, very descriptive and detailed. Em’s isn’t a regular blogger but when she does a post on one of her journeys through the capital it’s always done with a real zest for the place. I’ve not got the heart to tell her that the capital is now Nottingham and not London !!! Take a read of Em’s blog here.

Ok for these favourable mentions send all cheques to hobbits-journal at ……

Tommy

I was channel hopping last night and kept going back to the ITV Avenue of Fame. I think it’s a great idea that we have our own walkway of British stars. I’m not so sure that Ant and Dec are stars yet though or deserve a star spot but I smiled broadly when I saw Tommy Cooper has his own star in the pavement, he’s always made me laugh so much and richly deserves to be on there. I only had to see Tommy and I giggle, even before he’s said anything. I’ll be sure to go and pay homage next time I’m in Covent Garden, anyway where’s my star?

Onwards - Upwards

Ok so it’s been a crappy year in most respects so far. Back in February I split with the girlfriend which wasn’t what I wanted. Then the psychotherapy diploma drained me mentally though I guess the end result was worth it. Then last week mum passed away.

The only way I can go really is up, I’m not the sort to wallow in self pity or depression, it’s just not me. I’m usually the happy go lucky sort full of optimism. So, from this point on it’s onwards and upwards.

Shine

Yesterday was mum’s funeral, it was a lovely sunny day, the tree’s swayed in tune with the gentle breeze and there was an air of peace about it all. The crematorium was full of family and friends, seeing so many people there for mum made me feel a proud son. The service wasn’t long, a few prayers and one of her favourite songs played in the middle for all of us to reflect on her life, I’d chosen a more modern service and dispensed with singing and traditional organist, after all it wasn’t about a protracted service with pomp - it was about her memory. The vicar did a sterling job on covering my mum’s life; she spoke with theatrics and passion but kept it simple, her words hung in the air evoking emotion in many. Gran stood beside me, my mum’s mother, it was a hard day for her and for this reason I resolved to be strong, when she broke down I supported her and clutched her trembling hand, it must have been so hard to see her daughter go before her but under the circumstances she was very brave.

As for me, I felt very detached from it all, I had a raging headache, made worse by the fact I had to concentrate on the days events, only when the curtain closed around the coffin I felt a surge of emotion and a couple of stray tears meandered down my pale cheeks but at last after a long week there was an air of closure about it all, it was mum’s day and her memory would shine as bright as the sun did.

Dad was there for me, even though he’s been divorced from mum for several years, he still came and his presence gave me strength.

I also want to thank ‘Cela’ for calling me just before I left for the service; your phone call meant a lot to me.

Thanks everyone too for your emails of support, blogging associates and friends alike.

At Peace

Well, so far this has been a happy little blog, me rambling on about nothing in particular. So please bear with me while I get personal and deep for a few lines, it may not be what you all want to read (well the few of you that read this blog) but it’s what I need to put down in words, if only for the therapy of disclosure.

And the memory of my Mother.

On Friday the 9th of September my mum ‘Ann’ passed away aged 57 at 10.40am.

Intensive care had called that morning and said things were not too good, and requested myself and her partner attend hospital as soon as we could, I’d rang every two hours through the night, she’d been stable but critical, I guess still retained hope, you always do. On arriving three doctors guided us into a side room and informed us of the grim news, basically there was no way back for her, for as much blood as they pumped into her, she was losing it through her intestines. As her only next of kin I had to consent to life support being turned off, not that I had any other option really as nothing more could not be done and her brain had been starved of blood, the damage was done. They explained that the machine keeping her heart going would be turned off, the ventilator would keep going and everything would slow down, it would take about ten minutes I was told as the nurse drew the curtains and pointed at the blood pressure meter that was reading fifty, that ten minutes took an eternity, watching her slip away from me as I clutched her cold hand. The meter seemed fine for five minutes then suddenly began to plummet, while her heart gently stopped, mine was being ripped from me in the worst way imaginable, and I’ve never felt so much inner pain, I’ve never felt so helpless.

I was there at the end, beside her bed, so ill she looked, her life draining away – she’d fought until the last. The end was fortunately without pain and with dignity, as her life ebbed away I knew she was at peace at long last. The meter reached ten and the nurse came in and said it was over, even though the ventilator still pumped air into her she had passed on, my dear mother had left me in this world. Words cannot explain the feeling of losing your mother, As she had witnessed my life coming into this world, I’d witnessed her passing, it all seemed surreal, like your dreaming it all.

As the nurse led me away, every emotion and memory consumed me, how frail we humans are, our mortality, and that sudden irreversible feeling of loss that drains your whole being.

A tear matched a memory - there were a lot of tears that day.

Know peace now Mum, know that I truly loved you.

Jay.

x

10%

I’ve just had a lovely few days off, catching up with friends, relaxing, playing on my psp and enjoying the September weather.

All that changed last night when my gran rang me to say they’d rushed my mum into hospital. On arriving at hospital I was ushered into a side room, comfy chairs and flowers, I guess it’s then you know something is wrong. My fears were confirmed when a doctor came in and told me she’d been bleeding internally for along time and they were going to have to admit her into surgery, this was about 8pm last night. At 11pm I finally got to see her, she was on a ventilator, tubes in her mouth and all her face seemed expanded. I told the doctor to give it me straight and his reply was that she has a 10% chance to live.

It’s times like this that mortality hits home, how useless I feel right now. I’m typing this and she’s probably going to fade away and leave me very soon. Before all this I’d got happy blogs that I planned to send, odd how life can suddenly turn around isn’t it?

There wasn’t any point staying at the hospital, they kept taking us to a side room whilst they did things, then taking us back. I could see her fighting it, I’m sure she heard our voices but the nurse said she was too weak, she needed to be sedated. I stood there watching her life slip away, 10% kept echoing in my head, it’s nothing really is it.

It’s now 2.30am and I’ve just rang intensive care, she’s still the same but you can just tell from chatting to the nurse that they don’t hold out much hope.

So guy’s, if you don’t see any blogs for a while you know why. It’s odd, I want to cry but can’t, I just feel numb.

Dream on

The very articulate, sardonic and general rapscallion cliff-a-go-go has launched a project type blog about the dreams we have. He’s kindly asked me to contribute (more fool him!).
I think it’s a very innovative idea and I’m looking forward to contributing.

Take a look and go here

The day has come

The day has come, Sept 1st 2005, yep it’s the long awaited Sony PSP day, the gadget I’ve been waiting for! I finish work at 7.30am and then race into town to pick up my reserved PSP when ‘Game’ opens at 8am for the launch, then I’ve got 7 days off work, I plan to chill, maybe visit friends, read and generally kick back, oh and play the PSP of course or watch movies on it.

Friends

I’m a person that doesn’t really have loads of close friends but seemingly a large circle of associates. My main two close friends are Gary and Dave who I met in my first job when I left school, which was when I was 15, we are still very close now all these years later. Dave is a computer boffin and Gary now works over in Hong Kong as a fabric technologist and both are married. Apart from that I have some really good mates in my local that would help with anything should I need it. I also have a couple of good female mates too. Then of course there’s my eccentric work mates, though they would call me eccentric too, having spent many hours with them working nights we’ve got to know each other well and they are good lads. Then there are hundreds of other people I know from socialising, work – past and present, the internet and just everyday characters in general.

So what is the point to this blog you ask?

Well this week has shown me just what friendships are about, the warm glow they sometimes give you. It sort of felt like Christmas for me this week. Pat, my self styled cynical wookie friend from London sent me a parcel with two really fantastic books he’d managed to lay his hands on as he works in comic / marketing industry. Earlier in the week my mobile died on me and Dave came to the rescue and gave me a replacement from his mobile museum of phones. Then on Tuesday Gary arrived from Hong Kong on a trip home and he’d brought me several gifts from there including memory cards and computer games.

Friendships aren’t all about gifts though, I guess I just wanted to say how good I felt this last week. I’m happy having a few good friends that matter to me, than having loads that don’t.

(p.s I think Pat sent me the parcel to make up for letting me down over the Zodiac Mindwarp gig)

Stella Street

I recently bought the BBC2 comedy ‘Stella Street’ On dvd. To be fair I’d only ever seen the odd 5 mins of it here and there but it had always made me chuckle. So seeing it for £5 on play.com I decided to give it a go. Having watched it I can honestly say it’s the best comedy I’ve seen in a while even though it has been around for a ages. It has had some excellent reviews and press coverage but it remains much underrated.

Basically the plot revolves around celebrities giving up their Hollywood lifestyle to cohabit on Stella Street which is hidden away in leafy Surbiton, West London. Just Imagine Mick Jagger, Al Pacino, Joe Pesci, David Bowie, Jack Nicholson and the iconic Michael Caine all living together on a suburban street. They aren’t the only celebrities, there’s many more appearances and fictional residents of Stella Street , all done by the amazingly talented John Sessions, Phil Cornwall and the delectable Roni Ancona. The whole dvd made me laugh from beginning to end.